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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
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Wed, 07-28-2010 - 7:14pm

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 10:47pm

I would think that for the majority there would be restrictions on the times that contact can be made...just my opinion though:-)

For single AP - there is not really restrictions. I can text or call whenever - of course if he is not able to talk then he doesn't answer/reply. He has a job where he cannot be on the phone so during his work hours I know he can't talk/text.


He also knows that he can only text my phone when I am at work...he can only call me after he sends a text to make sure it is ok. He mostly sends messages to my email as it is safer. He has no problems with the restrictions...but then I am not there...this is LD...and it is very much "Friends with benefits".


Married AP has told me that I can text at anytime...but I don't. I text him during work hours only and the rest of the time the contact is IM or email. He follows the same rules as

LouLou
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 10:50pm

We both have restrictions when our SO's are around.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 11:46pm

Same boat for me---can text anytime but doesn't mean I'll get a response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 7:06am

You have a very unique A tygerzize. I'm not sure what kind of M your MM has, but if you can call him anytime, and if he can come over anytime you want him to, that is probably a one in a million A. Even married people have more restrictions (in a way) than that LOL. I can't have my H bring me out to dinner or take me out any time I want. He has other activities and obligations that are sometimes scheduled ahead of time. Are you positive he's married?

Anyway, in my A, it's my OM that has the restrictions. We just stick to e-mail, which can be answered by either of us at a convenient time. I like talking face to face better than the phone, and no one can unwittingly pick up an extension that way. Even with my cell, I would only call when no one was home if I was going to call. I don't take chances of being overheard or someone finding his number too many times on a bill.

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2010
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 8:42am
Both me and AP are married, and we both have restrictions. They are in place to protect our families as much as possible from being hurt. Maybe your AP is just a jerk, that rubs it in his families face. The type that sometimes just doesnt come home, and doesnt give a $#it! Sounds like a winner,
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2009
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 11:10am

Tygerzize, I'm really not trying to pick on you, but your posts scream of denial and I'm compelled to respond.


Didn't you post recently how you "roll your eyes" when people advertise things because there must be something not right if they need to advertise?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: tygerzize
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:10pm

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:13pm

if i call he picks up, or not..just like having a regular boyfriend...im just curious though as to how others affairs go...i guess he tries to make it as normal as possible for me because i am single...and i need to have as much normalcy as possible..like i said or i will roll out..again....i do ask for time that's not possible at times...he's not able to make it...that kind of puts a damper on things and i will be moody for a while...


when i text 99% of the time i get a response within 15 minutes or less..he's pretty good at that....then he'll call..he'll say we've sent 50 texts already and his fingers are tired or he's stepped out to say he's going to the store and can't text and drive...or whatever.....but he's pretty good with it

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:20pm

why does the OM have restrictions?


...oh NO i cant see him when i want to...i want to see him everyday..well wait..okay okay okay i do see him almost everyday...and we go to lunch a lot.....but if i want to see him on the weekend and his little girl wants to spend time or something i cannot see him....i've always said it's a unique one...part of the reason i'm questioning is because i read the boards a lot and am wondering am i in one...and yes i'm sure he's married..he wears a ring and talks of her...i think they may work different shifts or something..from what he used to say about her when he and i were only friends..i think she focuses a lot on "her" side of the family like with her parents a lot and no they aren't sick..it's just how she is...and i assume she's into church a lot..just by some things he's said a couple of years ago...he has always said he does what he WANTS to do...so i do not know..and the type of person he is at time..believe me he does what he WANTS to do unless his little girl (the apple of his eye, his little princess) gets involved or runs interference.....


i think all in all he's respected me a lot (throughout our arguments me not speaking to him etc) and he's tried to make this as normal for me as possible....the more i post to the board and get feedback the more i am understanding my affair...affairs are very complicated and confusing and hard to deal with be in and understand....it truly is a rollercoaster ride..


to be honest..i'm not too sure how long i will continue with this, this time around.


..my kid is going to college at the end of august, i was thinking of going back to school myself....i guess i just wanna do ME....never thought i'd feel that way..well i feel that way today...

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:23pm

nah he's not a jerk..i doubt he rubs it in their face, he probably more than anything tries to protect them....just has superman syndrome and is a true alpha male..he thinks he can take care of everyone all the time...it's what he likes to do...he's always said he never thought he'd ever find anyone else that he could be in love with..so he probably tries to make it so that he has two lives......i'm sure it gets confusing for him..it has to he's human although he would like to believe himself to be omnipotent or invincible...


although i've never tried to come between him and his family in any type of way shape or form..never indicated it..never sent out subtle hints...i don't even know what the wife looks like...at all....i wouldn't know who she was if she came up in my face and said "you are my husbands woman"..seriously....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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