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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
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Wed, 07-28-2010 - 7:14pm

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:30pm

no home phone mia...cell phone...


and no i don't know where he lives..i respect him i would never go to his home as i'm sure if i were married he wouldn't come to mine..but i do have a unique affair you would have to know the history of him taking on the responsibilty to care for me ..my bills at times, to take care of my son,take him to football practice when he was in high school, attend his games, events that he's had for awards, transport him and his buddies places and come to my house to spend time sort of as a father figure to him even when i'm not around....meet my family..take me on vacation, hang out with my friends etc...


theres no fog here honey..i definately am aware that he's married and would never ever disrespect his wife..maybe he's aware of that and does what he does because of it....


ahhh just read the end of your posts,, yes it is a FAIR TRADE...yuppers you got it..i'm not saying he likes the tantrums and rants and tiffs but he does have full access to my life, i don't have access to his ....but it is a trade in order to be with me...i also do what i want when i want...


nope not trying to make myself superior to those in an affair. i just consider myself lucky....just trying to figure this all out but if someone is envious because they didn't get to enter an affair like the one i have thats their issue...i just lucked up with someone who can actually finance one, and be available more times that someone else who wants to or has entered an affair./..i had no idea he was like that....or would operate in that manner


but i appreciate your feedback...

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:38pm

yes i did eye roll about people announcements about "THEIR HUSBAND this THEIR HUSBAND THAT" making announcements as to we did this and I LOVE MY HUSBAND THIS AND THAT>>>facebook posts...i don't believe i announced anything i believe i posted several questions so as to get clarity on some things that go on with affairs..you never fully understand them...and yes i've read about 3 books about them as well...


let me ask you a question? if someone else's affair goes more smooth than yours does that bother you? or do you wish that you could have that too? sort of like jealousy which is a normal human emotion...we all have it...and it's healthy to be jealous to a point...again we are all human...asking because i wonder why you went really extra and posted all of that...


i am as sincere as sincere can be and genuinely am trying to get a clear picture of my own life...and what's going on with me.. and why i entered this and the reason it happened the way it did...and yes i'm reading , will he really leave her for me? understand your situation making decisions for your happiness...by rona b subotnik, lmft..which i suggested to another poster here.....


because my affair goes a lot smoother on my end doesn't mean that it's not hard for me to understand....not to mention...i don't know what goes on on his end..it very well could be a nightmare for him (it doesn't seem like it but it could be) he would never let on to anything like that...for all i know she could have discovered it and he just not tell me about it...who knows..there could have been a DDAY i didn't know about...and he said nothing so as to not cause further confusion with us...or to have me feel a certain way etc-i wouldn't know....i really only know what goes on in my world and how he treats me when we talk or when we're together or communicating....


"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 07-29-2010 - 5:54pm

i didn't respond to you loulou but i will...in this affair it's all about me a lot of the time (i do give him alot of attention) ...i am the single one...if you are single and a married person wants to enter an affair with you, they already have something going on..why shouldn't they put forth extra effort in contact or communication or visits.....no things aren't equal and even..he has a wife at home

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 12:24am

I have followed your posts for awhile now. I remember when you posted on Christmas a few years back how he had just left your home..I remember when you and he broke off and you had no idea what to call what was 'left' although he would stop by. I remember your hurt. Your confusion.

I can honestly say my lover never makes me feel --his words--like i am in the back seat to 'her'. At the same time I have never called him or texted him....especially during off hours....you know why--because I don't need to. He is always 'here' for me, inside my heart and on every level. And I have been to his home, we have stopped in there a few times when the family was out of state.

You boast about his lifestyle and how it benefits you. My lover is extremely successful. This has made for some very special occasions together, but what I treasure most is his wise counsel and how I have found my best friend. And I too have met his select friends and he mine.

You appear immature. Is there a big age difference between you and he? My lover and I are one month apart. I am divorced following a long term marriage with grown children, his are young.

I wonder how you will manage when your son goes away to school? Will you continue to throw tantrums or will you find ways to grow and perhaps figure out all these questions you have.

Affairs are not cookie cutter. And while you appear to reap some material benefits from yours, I honestly do not see much talk about love.

Good Luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2008
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 12:59am
Alpha males ARE jerks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 1:05am
" Alpha males ARE jerks." Even if they believe otherwise ! lol !!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 8:18am
You wrote:


i do have a unique affair you would have to know the history of him taking on the responsibilty to care for me ..my bills at times, to take care of my son,take him to football practice when he was in high school, attend his games, events that he's had for awards, transport him and his buddies places and come to my house to spend time sort of as a father figure to him even when i'm not around....meet my family..take me on vacation, hang out with my friends etc...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 9:14am

ITA with mia_2005.

You are disrespectful to your AP's wife by having an A with her H.Period.If you were so worried about her,you wouldnt be having an A with her H.
" as a matter of fact we can talk or text at 2am or 2pm/8am or 8pm..anytime doesn't matter.."

If you call him at 2am or 8pm , how is that respectful towards his wife ? And you call him in the wee hours of the morning or late at night when you know he is married?You are being disrespectful to his W.What if they were 'cookie baking' at the time?

Tygerzize, you are good at spinning with words but I guess your AP has taken YOU for a ride and you are unaware.I am sorry that you are so in fog.One day you might thank me :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 11:38am

he may keep the ringer off and on vibrate and step out and pick up or maybe on silent and if he sees it ringing he calls back...i don't know...


and yes i'm sure he's married..he wears a ring and talks of her...i think they may work different shifts or something..from what he used to say about her when he and i were only friends..i think she focuses a lot on "her" side of the family like with her parents a lot and no they aren't sick..it's just how she is...and i assume she's into church a lot..just by some things he's said a couple of years ago...


Doesn't sound like you know him very well.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Fri, 07-30-2010 - 11:52am

We call on the way to work and on the way home.

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