Messy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Messy
7
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 11:56am

So AP and I hooked up the first time about two weeks before his child's bday party last year.  It was awkward to be around him in a family setting and not know what to do or say.  Hopefully this year I'm better prepared.  I'm bringing reinforcements (LOL) that know the situation.  My H is not going, which is probably a good thing.  I know what I'm facing though.  AP won't talk to me when everyone (W and her BFF) is around.  I know I'm going to feel lonesome and such there but I'm gonna make the best of it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 9:08pm
It will be difficult for you but you can't blame him. I did the same thing. If and when my H was around, my SM knew I would not even make eye contact, let alone acknowledge him. It comes with the territory
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 3:19pm

Wow I didn't think it was going to be this hard!  I left the party wanting to just cry my heart out.  Doesn't he realize that if I'm the only female he's not talking to it looks more suspicious than not?!?!  The only thing I got was a "thanks for coming guys" and a touch on the arm as he passed me.  Otherwise I could've been invisible.  I knew not to expect more but it just hurts..,....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: janejosie
Sat, 08-11-2012 - 8:53pm

Yeah, I definitely know that feeling!  Sometimes it is great to be a part of his "real" life or his homelife, as you get to see a side of him that is more true, but it has its downsides for sure.  I'm sure you understand his motivations for acting that way, but it still hurts since so much of an A requires us to hide the strong feelings we have.  It gets pretty tiring.  For me, I would just remind myself of why my XAP would do the things he did when we were together around his family, and seeing the logic in it would eventually take away the sting.  But yeah, it is always a painful jolt when it first happens.  Do you think it might be better to stay away from him when his W is around if it makes you both so uncomfortable?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 2:16am

Yeah the day has gotten better as I keep going through the logic of it.  Honestly, he talks to me if W is around that is no problem, he won't talk to me when the jealous BFF is around.  Maybe he's afraid that she can tune in on something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 9:40pm
Maybe something has happened between him and the jealous BFF? She seems very protective of him. Like she is marking her territory? Even you have said, your jealous of how he is around her.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 10:34pm

Well those two couples of been accused of being swingers and AP and the BFF have been accused of sleeping together.  However, I believe deep in my heart that nothing has happened.  Maybe they talked about it, etc but I don't think they've had sex.  When we first moved in we used to hang out with the AP/W and have dinner etc.  Well when they started telling the BFF all about us and how much they loved us etc., BFF got jealous and sent me an email pretty much telling me she felt like I was trying to take away her friends, that it had happened before and etc.  I truly believe she has mental issues.