Mind Games ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Mind Games ???
5
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 4:06pm

I am so frustrated right now and am about to BLOW! Is this just mind games or what??


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 4:11pm
( hugs ) Just to pep you up a bit,I made a thread here 'fun questions' where you may want to put down how nutty he is.Vent away!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 4:29pm
Maybe he prefers to talk to you in person rather than email? Not sure how you've been communicating but I know sometimes my MM prefers to talk in person-no paper trail...Hugs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 06-03-2010 - 5:43pm
Aren't all those changing moods enough to drive the squirrels mad!

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 12:59am

I would suggets kicking him in the balls, then offering him something for the pain again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 9:08am

Ugh, another hot and cold guy!

This seems to be far too common. The hot and cold is definitely how my AP has been acting for the past month and a half, ever since he suddenly started feeling guilty and wasn't sure if he could do this (he decided he did want to keep seeing me but to slow it down and dial down the intensity). Since that conversation, some days he's hot, and the conversation is fun, he kisses me, we fool around, and then other days he's cold, barely talks to me, and I think goes out of his way not to be around me (we work temporarily at the same place).

I know how much it hurts when they do that! I don't know what it is. I wanted to post a question to the group and ask for ideas on why.

I wonder if it has to do with the intensity of the A, that they need to back up and get some distance. I mean, just to make a somewhat stereotypical statement, guys aren't necessarily the 'best' at relationships, and here they are in one committed one with their SO, and then an A on the side! Plus I think often the women fall a little bit harder and our emotions get entangled a bit more than them.

But it really, really sucks, and breaks my heart when he is acting cold to me.

Yesterday there was a perfect opportunity for me to call him out on it and I did. I said that he was either hot or cold with me and I never knew what I was walking in to when I came in to work. He acknowledged that he was like that, and then it led to me saying my contract was up next week and he was going to have to figure out if he wanted to still see me after (I'm going to create a separate post about this so I don't ramble on in your message stream!).

So, I think it's kinda a defense mechanism, for whatever reason. It just sucks that I'm always 'hot, and he swings back and forth. Ugh.

Best of luck crazy, I know, this stuff makes me a crazy girl for sure too!!! You're not alone :)
*hugs*