Mini-"bust"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mini-"bust"
3
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 2:52pm
Well, here I am, MW, flirting openly with a MM client of ours. I got so carried away with talking to him and flirting over the phone, that I lost my grip for a moment and had a private, a bit incriminating conversation with my boss in the next room! Did I want to get caught? I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I was secretive, but this is the first time in my marriage that this has happened. My boss actually called me on it! He went to lunch and discussed it with a mutual friend of ours (we've got a couple of the same friends). and the friend warned me about what was coming down. My boss returned from lunch and asked to talk privately. I sat down and he said that he wasn't judging me, but was concerned that I might be crossing a line. His main concern seemed to be that this man is a client of ours (we're handling his D - separated over 1yr) and that I might be called as a witness one day. I told him that he misheard something that wasn't there and denied, denied, denied. He didn't buy it. Now, he seems disappointed in me and is a little distant. We've always had a friendly, fatherly/daughterly, or more big brother/little sister thing going on. His opinion means a lot to me and I don't know what made me act so recklessly. I haven't mentioned it since, but I feel like when it's time for this guy to come in again that I'm going to be a wreck. I discussed it with MM and he's sorry for the way this went down, but it could have been much worse. We're just starting this thing and I think I'm getting carried away with what I'm feeling but I don't want to be reckless and I don't want to stop. Help
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 3:08pm
I am sorry about the work situation. I have never been in your situation, but there have been close calls. I have been lucky so far. I hope you get thru this fast - for this too shall pass.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Mon, 05-31-2004 - 7:45pm
It's doubly hard, I think, to maintain an affair with someone you know through work. SO and I are coworkers, and not only do you have to be discreet around your family, but you must also be discreet at work. And probably more so, because they notice things your spouse doesn't because your spouse doesn't WANT to see it. Also, coworkers tend to love to gossip, as you found out....your 'big brother' discussed your situation with other friends at lunch before coming to you, for instance. So, they're more than happy to take what would otherwise be something innocent and blow it out of proportion. And because you know it's not innocent, you get defensive. Very tricky stuff, this. Be careful, have fun, and let us know how it goes!

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 9:00am
My boss asked me yesterday to call in several clients to review matters with them and of course one is my "potential" OM. I had to call him yesterday and be very professional and tell him that we need to see him this afternoon. Very short (but exciting nonetheless) conversation which was strictly business. Now, I'm nervous and excited about seeing him this afternoon, but don't want to seem odd or guilty around my boss. Part of me even worries that boss will say something to him. I'm sure that's far fetched, but you never know. My mutual friend with boss told me that he didn't want me to feel like he was being judgemental, because apparently these two guys are having EMA's of their own with girls out of town. He just didn't want me to do anything that would jeopardize a working relationship......ok...... I get it, I get it, but I don't like it. Now, H tells me this morning that he's going out of town for work next week (Mon-Thurs). I feel like this might be working out and falling into place, but I don't know. I'll be talking to OM everyday for the next three weeks for work, so maybe we'll see what happens. I'm suddenly very calm about the whole thing. I just want to see him.