Mixed signals -messing me up
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| Mon, 10-27-2008 - 4:07pm |
Guess I just need to vent and stop myself from calling .calling calling him...
I am getting such mixed messages from my AP,,,so I am trying really hard right now to just lay back and wait...and its killing me..
Things have not been good for him at home the last few weeks..and he has asked me to be patient and strong...have seen each other only a couple times..but have talked on phone and computer ,,he is totally stressed and trying to fix things the best way he can.? I am going through my own stuff but not sharing any with him cause know he is at his limit at the moment..But he does try to find time when he can for us..
the thing is ..he told me he was going away for a week to do some work and the same time get away ,,ok..understandable..although am jealous I couldn;t go and he will have time with friends.and not me..But hey we all need a break once in a while..Saw him last week and it was good.and he called me after and said he would call me before he left or while on the road..Well nothing...not a word..I know when he was leaving..and no word from him..and I tried calling couple times and just get that F@@@@ message unavailable..
thought for sure he would call from the road..but nope...I think he probably hit the road and said screw them all and turned his phone off and is just enjoying the peace ..but ,,,,,,why didn;t he call me?? am I stressing over nothing?? here come the mind games i so hate....ughhh...Why do I do this to myself..I don't deserve to be treated this way..none of us do...I would never ever treat someone I care about this way...Is it just me?? What do you do to keep your mind from imagining all sorts of things?? I am trying to tell myself patience patience ,,,its all good., is it?? ughh thanks for letting me vent...here I go again on the lovely roller coaster ride..

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You really are obsessing over this guy. Driving to his place could be considered stalking. You really have to take a deep breath then step back from this.
Pisces
Edited 11/23/2008 8:39 pm ET by pisces2008
Yes,,you are so right and your friend gave you good advice...I think if I did see his W or kids I would really not like myself..I wish to God I wouldn;t of drove by his house at all..and am praying it was her not him in that car.
Hi WithClarity,,,
(((((((hugs)))))))))) thank you for your story and your very wise words..My heart hurts for you ..for you having put yourself through that..I am so sorry..It made me stop and really think about what I am doing..and took me back to a time when I had a ex stalker and how I felt..I never want to put myself or anyone through that..it was horrible..and frightening..But I could also see myself going that way if I don;t nip it now..
The phone bill I think I have covered..changed to electronic and changed my contract..etc..had a valid reason why all the calls were on there for that month ..but it wont fly again for sure.
My marriage and my life for that matter has been slowly going down the drain for a few years now..H's attitude has been this way for so long now..I guess I am just fed up and have caught a glimpse of something brighter ?
I do know that my AP and I really really need to sit down and have some good talks ,,it is all so new for me and I just don;t know what to expect or where I stand..I think its all the questions swirling in my head about him and what he expects of us that have me questioning everything..I hate all these doubts and he has so far tried to be honest with me so why am I questioning him in my head? like is there other's? I know in my heart there probably isn;t because the man just doesn;t jhave the time..but then again?? see what i mean..He has told me he always open and tells it like it is..and he has so far as I know..so why am i doing this. I know if I keep it up he is going to run as fast as he can..and honestly I really don;t want that.because he is my friend and I need a friend really badly right now..But I am going to try my hardest to just wait ,wait wait to see if he calls and hopefully we can talk..although it won;t be for a while because I will be unavailable due to work issues..so I guess I have no choice but to wait..
Well,,I kept myself busy all day Sunday, even though I was freaking out wondering if it was my Ap or his wife who saw me in the car...Monday dawned and I dragged myself to work , wondering if and when I would hear from him...Mid day he Called!! to tell me he just got home late Sunday night and that he was sorry he didn;t call or email while he was away..He was worried about cell phone bill and his friends had no internet ...hmmm.Anyway I was very happy to hear his voice..and tried to contain it a bit..and act normal..lol
He thanked me for not losing it and not
I am glad to hear that he finally did contact you. I know exactly how you feel. I felt like that with my AP about 1 1/2 weeks ago. He didn't contact me for a few days and I was worrying and wondering why he dropped off the face of the planet. Sometimes I get so obsessed with my AP and it just consumes me. I can't stop thinking about the who, what, when and where. Then when he finally calls it's like I can finally breathe and I forget all the anxiety that I had. I am sorry that you went through all that I know how it really stinks to have all those feelings and thoughts running through your head constantly. I hope that you do get the opportunity to talk soon. Best of Luck to you.
thanks chernsoren..I do the same thing..sometimes it consumes me way to much and I make myself sick with the wondering...I have decided that I need to just try to relax, and believe what he tells me and what will be will be..funny My AP has told me so many times to just relax and breathe also..I stress out so much when I dont hear from him,and like you when he does finally call l can breath again and forget all the stress ,well at least for a bit until I see him again...why do we do that to ourselves?? all the worrying and wondering
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