From MM to H
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From MM to H
| Fri, 05-07-2004 - 10:04pm |
How do you handle going from the passion of being with MM to then having H wanting intimacy?
Yesterday I met my MM of 9 years. The passion. I will do anything he asks sexually. He turns me on so much!!!!!!!! I love oral on him and I will swallow time and time again. We have tried anal (not my favorite, but to please him). I love on top, bottom, standing or across a chair. Anyway anytime.
But after times with my MM, I go home. My H wants attention that evening or the next night. I dread the thought of sex with him. He is a wimp. I have never given him oral and swallowed. If he suggested anal, I would tell him "no way". It is missionary and I just lie there. I can't wait for him to finish. I moan loudly and he climaxes quicker. Good.
Does this sound familiar to anybody? Help please.

sigh
deedee
However, looking back at my marriage I wonder if I didn't cause a lot of the problem. Someone in this thread used the term "wimp" to describe their H. I didn't start my relationship with my W as a wimp, but I'll be she thinks of me that way now. Because I don't "just take her". The magic is gone and I can't make it get back to that point. And keep thinking she should want to try too.
Anyway, my question is, can you imagine your H's changing or being able to do anything that would put that passion either back or cause the passion that your other men cause. I guess I'm getting down to the quesiton of...is passion pure chemistry or is it manufactured?
Bis
First, Dream, may I suggest that you call off the wedding. I don't really know your situation, and I apologize up front if I'm out of line. However, if you are feeling like this before you even walk down the aisle, I'm afraid it isn't going to get any better. You may have other reasons for saying "I do", but in my opinion, intimacy between a husband and wife, is very important in a marriage. When your F makes love to you, you can't wait for it to be over: Fast forward to 5, 10, 20 years from now - can you really imagine being married for that many years to a man that you don't enjoy having sex with?
Bis - I do agree that passion is chemistry. But, if you had it once, you can have it again. The chemistry doesn't just disappear. You do have to want it though! There are many phases in a marriage, and maybe it's unrealistic to think that the relationship in the bedroom is always going to "hot and heavy", especially once you factor in the daily grind of work, kids, bills, the leaky faucet, everyday life.
My H is a wonderful considerate lover. At times, our lovemaking is extremely passionate and at others it is merely the gentle need to connect with each other. We have been M for almost 16 years (together for 20). We are in a position currently where we are rebuilding our M after my infidelity. Throughout this difficult situation, we continue to enjoy each other sexually, and to be honest, if we didn't have that, I'm not sure where we would be.
JMHO
Take care
Red
Don't appologize for being upfront! I appreciate it so much. The problem is,I know I have to call it off. I tried to do that last week, but he broke up in tears, that it made me feel so akward. So Im just waiting here, letting things linger for a while until I find a way out of this relation, with as little damage as possible.I just don't have the guts yet to call it off and just leave! I wish I had the strength. I'm not leaving for MM by the way. MM just made me realize that the grass on the other side is green, too! Maybe greener than on my side!
Terri
I'm at the point now that I wonder when is the right time to be sexually intimate with MM. One one hand, I know it will change things with us, and feel we should wait since we have only known each other three months. On the other hand, we are both looking for the same thing; a friend and a lover, and question why I'm being coy.
Kissing him is unlike anyone I have ever kissed. Our kisses are long and passionate, neither ever wanting to stop. I know when the times comes, I will be able to unleash a passion I didn't know in my 20's - I'm 20 years older, more comfortable in my sexuality, and am attracted to him on so many levels.
I often wonder if things are different in an A, because we don't see them as potential husband/father material. Simply as lovers and confidants.
I understand your feeling about long, passionate kisses. I have that with my MM. I wish I had that with my H.
I really understand your comment about unleashing your passion. My MM taught me that the man creates the passion and then woman unleashes hers. AND DO I EVER !!! LOL !!
Until I met this man, I never knew what passion really felt like. I watched a kiss in the movies and thought it was acting. My MM is better than the movies. I am the same person, he makes the difference. He takes me ... presses me against the wall and kisses me and I melt. I simply melt.
I don't know if he would be a good husband to me, that is a good question. For now, that is not an option for either one of us.