MM having guilts, need adive
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 10-01-2003 - 8:32am |
First I want to say I love this board and the advice given--very helpful in our confusing situations.I am single and I've known MM for 2 months, met on line, met twice. He lives in another state so I've flown to see him. Luckily it's only an hour by plane. He's said he's unhappy and sad with his wife but will stay married because of his 8 yr old son. This I knew from the beginning and accepted. We just had a great connection from the beginning and I wanted to pursue meeting him as did he. So we met for the first time on a Tuesday, so it didn't impact time he spends with his son on the weekends. This last time, we met Sunday afternoon and he left Monday at noon. We have a very strong intense connection, sexually and otherwise. He's said that he's in love with me as well and I love him.
Anyway, I got back into town on Monday and just had a sense that something was bothering him so I called this morning and we talked about it.
He said he is having a case of "the guilts" regarding his son, doesn't feel guilty about his wife, just his son. Said that when he got home on Monday, his son, was asking where he was, why he wasn't home on Sunday, etc. He said he was away on business. He said that he also IM's me at night and feels a little guilty that he is doing this while his son is playing in the living room. MM travels a lot on business so he has an easy excuse when confronted at home I guess. His son is having his 9th birthday October 19th.
He said that he just needs time to think and he is going away this weekend by himself and that will be a good opportunity. He said he still loves me and misses me and feels the same about me, but sometimes he needs to make a "mind adjustment", and think about things.
I realize he is in a tough situation and he is very committed to his son---just not his wife. I also respect this and won't pursue him if he decides to end it. He said he didn't want to end it but just needs to think. We were planning to be together in three weeks from a Wed to Friday morning that he said he still wants to do but isn't 100% committed to it at this moment.
I told him that the ball was in his court and that I would give him the space he needs---I wouldn't call him, email or IM him, just leave him alone to his thoughts. He said he would call Friday from his car, on his way out of town.
Has anyone experienced this before in their A or EMA? What happened? I know everyone is different. FYI, MM has had a few other affairs before me but said he wasn't in love with the other women. Thanks for any advice,
Annie
