MM just had BABY, need advise !
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MM just had BABY, need advise !
| Sun, 01-25-2004 - 1:15pm |
hello everyone, I lurk at times, and am an emotional mess between being true to my heart and doing what is the right thing, setting him free out of the love I have for him, and inside falling apart. I post on the ending an affair board, realizing I was not ready to let go........
it is complicated but what is not, in short, I am single, two kids, known MM for three years, meet in the park, found out what coincidence we work together, diff. dept, anyhow, became close friends, unbelievable chemistry, feeling of comfort, and oh gosh how can something so wrong, feel so right?....W. is not a bad women, just not the one for him, different kind of personlities, goals etc. he was not happy, felt unappreciated....thre was I the opposite, adoring him, we clicked and would be perfect of each other, he is a super devoted father...she somewhat has some idea I exist, and I think realized she needs to work a bit harder to keep him, he got a job promotion, bought a bigger house, things got better at home. He started living a double life, making him choose between the kid, her and me was never an option...we just took it day by day...then she gets another suspicion about me existing, next thing we know she is pregnant...now hte baby is here , he still stays in touch( I set himfree so to speak before thanksgiving, for his own sake to rekindle his marraige, I mean what better time then now, right? I did not watn to interfere, he did not take it to well, we stayed in daily touch, the feelings get the best of us at times, we both have this daily struggle with friend, then heck now we don;t just want to be friends....no he is not talking about leaving, I know and accepted that, try not to think of tomorrow, but also never say never you know, I try to keep my heart open for my own available Mr. wonderful to come in my life, he knows that and that there is not a whole lot then besides letting me go should this happen....sorry I am rambling.
Guess my question is: HAS ANYONE BEEN WIHT MM THROUGH PREGNANCY AND BABY BEING BORN AND WHAT HAPPENED FROM THERE, HOW DID YOU COPE ANOTHER WOMEN HAVING THE CHILD WITH THE MAN YOU LOVE?....DID THIS MAKE THE MARRIAGE BETTER, FOR HOW LONG?...any input welcome.. Thanks for listening
it is complicated but what is not, in short, I am single, two kids, known MM for three years, meet in the park, found out what coincidence we work together, diff. dept, anyhow, became close friends, unbelievable chemistry, feeling of comfort, and oh gosh how can something so wrong, feel so right?....W. is not a bad women, just not the one for him, different kind of personlities, goals etc. he was not happy, felt unappreciated....thre was I the opposite, adoring him, we clicked and would be perfect of each other, he is a super devoted father...she somewhat has some idea I exist, and I think realized she needs to work a bit harder to keep him, he got a job promotion, bought a bigger house, things got better at home. He started living a double life, making him choose between the kid, her and me was never an option...we just took it day by day...then she gets another suspicion about me existing, next thing we know she is pregnant...now hte baby is here , he still stays in touch( I set himfree so to speak before thanksgiving, for his own sake to rekindle his marraige, I mean what better time then now, right? I did not watn to interfere, he did not take it to well, we stayed in daily touch, the feelings get the best of us at times, we both have this daily struggle with friend, then heck now we don;t just want to be friends....no he is not talking about leaving, I know and accepted that, try not to think of tomorrow, but also never say never you know, I try to keep my heart open for my own available Mr. wonderful to come in my life, he knows that and that there is not a whole lot then besides letting me go should this happen....sorry I am rambling.
Guess my question is: HAS ANYONE BEEN WIHT MM THROUGH PREGNANCY AND BABY BEING BORN AND WHAT HAPPENED FROM THERE, HOW DID YOU COPE ANOTHER WOMEN HAVING THE CHILD WITH THE MAN YOU LOVE?....DID THIS MAKE THE MARRIAGE BETTER, FOR HOW LONG?...any input welcome.. Thanks for listening

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I'm new to lurking/posting I just posted a similar one. My story is he was
already leaving an unhappy marriage (and so was I)when I found out she was
pregnant. I told him I was leaving b/c I didn't want to ruin a family. Well,
according to early information she wasn't going to be able to have the baby.
Also according to him they hadn't been together like that since New Years Eve
(it was early Feb I found this out). So I changed my mind and stayed with him.
Through several months of bumps we grew closer and more connected. Well, in
early December I got a call from my sister (who btw doesn't even know his W) and
she told me that W had a baby. He lied to me for the entire pregnacy by not
telling me. They aren't together and are in the middle of a nasty divorce. So
now I'm trying to deal with the "shock" factor and the "saddness" of him having
another child with her--not me. The sad part is I LOVE HIM even though he
neglected to tell me such an important bit of information. So I'm trying to find
away to deal with the full range of mixed up emotions and move forward with our
R. Wow is it a challenge.
So I guess my advice to you is... If he is still intimate with his W the
marriage isn't as unhappy as he may lead you to believe. I don't think there is
anything wrong with having a FWB. So I say keep enjoying yourself, but take your
heart back! And the other bit of advise I have is listen to yourself...you said
"no he is not talking about leaving, I know and accepted that ... I try to keep
my heart open for my own available Mr. wonderful to come in my life" I think
that is the best thing you can do. B/c your Mr. Wonderful is out there and if
you keep your heart for him and above all yourself then you will find him when
your ready.
I hope this was helpful. Good luck!
iaam
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