MM NC for 3 weeks
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-13-2003 - 1:18pm |
I have been lurking for a while and decided to vent.
My MM did not call me for over 3 weeks..I was falling apart thinking that he was ending it between us with just by not calling anymore. I got a even better job that is national (pay is more than I have ever made..pays more than MM's job) and wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted to share that news with him first yet I cant always contact him so I had to share it with H (Yuk). I have been in a daze wondering how could he not want to hear my voice (as he always says). I wondered how could he "love" me so much yet not even take the time to call to see how I am. I felt soo low and uncared about. I felt like I was dying inside and I felt like such a fool to be here trying so hard to make things work so that I can get a divorce and move back to town he is in for us to be together. He claimed that he wanted that too and would leave his w as well.
Last week, I did call him at work just to see if he was alive. I called when I knew he ws not at office and he was out in field and I DID NOT leave a message. I wanted to see just when he would call me. I had to sit on my hands not to call him and track him down as I could have done.
What hurt the most was that the last time we spoke on his Birthday ..I told him that I was going thru a hard time with H and the fact that we were so many miles apart..I poured my heart out to him in a letter which he had in his hand as we spoke. He said such sweet things and I really thought we were on the same page....apparently not if he waited 3 weeks to call me.
Today, MM left me a VM saying he was sorry its been so long and he had been having hard time at work and home, and that he loved me and misses me and really hopes that I will call him back at 3pm....Well I did not call him. I figure if he is THAT busy he is too busy to keep our relationship going as well..I mean I was happy with a call or two a week but we have never gone 3 weeks without him calling. I am just rambling but I dont know what to do with him...I am so confused. I still love him of course yet I need for him "want" to call more. Over these past few weeks I have gained some strength in not calling him or taking his calls and he will have to just "wonder" for a while. Cheetah

Pages
I do know that it is hard not to be passive/agressive (not answering his calls so that he will know how it feels) but try not to get caught up one ups-manship. Face it for those of us who have been married or in serious relationships for a while know the outcome of that game.
Saaty:
Thanx so much for ur thoughts. I know what u mean about the games "oneupmanship" and all but what else can i do?? Cheetah
I have never went three weeks with out contact with him, but sometimes he doesn't call me as much as I would like.
Everyone always says you have to communicate...but how do you say "call me more" without sounding clingy and whiny???
I am not a clingy person (at least I don't think I am). And I see this EMA as it is, but still it is hard sometimes to just let things happen as they may when you feel you need a little more. It is hard to be comfortable knowing they are in your thoughts 24/7 and wondering how or why they don't have that same need for more contact.
Usually during these periods I just end up calling him....ugh. I try not to play the game of "I called you last, it is your turn" but at the same time, it is nice to know he is thinking of me and WANTS to call me.
I think I am rambling, but just want you to know, I understand what you mean.
Nitro
These MM's are not the LAST men on earth, ladies!! If they cannot or will not give you what you want, you CAN dump them and find other men.
If you didn't answer the phone because you really did not feel like talking to him - perhaps you were still too angry and needed to sort out your feelings, then that is one thing, but if you did it to teach him a lesson - that is when it becomes a game. Believe me, I have thought about doing that a time or two but it is counter-productive to a positive relationship and is destructive to the communication between you two. Be honest with him about how you feel and how you have felt for the past three weeks. Don't worry about sounding like you are whining, just let him know you need to know where you stand so that you can temper your feelings about the relationship accordingly.
Hope this helps.
saatty
Absolutely. And I tried dumping his arse once, I can do it again...and will in time, no doubt there.
:-)
Nitro
Angel
That is what my head is telling me, but I always thought, and he always said, when that time came, he would be honest with me and tell me. I have been in this A for almost 5 years now!! I know that is a long time for an A, but if he doesn't feel the same way about me why doesn't he just go on and tell me? Did your OM ever just "tell" you that is what he wanted to do?
Angel
Pages