MM NC for 3 weeks
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-13-2003 - 1:18pm |
I have been lurking for a while and decided to vent.
My MM did not call me for over 3 weeks..I was falling apart thinking that he was ending it between us with just by not calling anymore. I got a even better job that is national (pay is more than I have ever made..pays more than MM's job) and wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted to share that news with him first yet I cant always contact him so I had to share it with H (Yuk). I have been in a daze wondering how could he not want to hear my voice (as he always says). I wondered how could he "love" me so much yet not even take the time to call to see how I am. I felt soo low and uncared about. I felt like I was dying inside and I felt like such a fool to be here trying so hard to make things work so that I can get a divorce and move back to town he is in for us to be together. He claimed that he wanted that too and would leave his w as well.
Last week, I did call him at work just to see if he was alive. I called when I knew he ws not at office and he was out in field and I DID NOT leave a message. I wanted to see just when he would call me. I had to sit on my hands not to call him and track him down as I could have done.
What hurt the most was that the last time we spoke on his Birthday ..I told him that I was going thru a hard time with H and the fact that we were so many miles apart..I poured my heart out to him in a letter which he had in his hand as we spoke. He said such sweet things and I really thought we were on the same page....apparently not if he waited 3 weeks to call me.
Today, MM left me a VM saying he was sorry its been so long and he had been having hard time at work and home, and that he loved me and misses me and really hopes that I will call him back at 3pm....Well I did not call him. I figure if he is THAT busy he is too busy to keep our relationship going as well..I mean I was happy with a call or two a week but we have never gone 3 weeks without him calling. I am just rambling but I dont know what to do with him...I am so confused. I still love him of course yet I need for him "want" to call more. Over these past few weeks I have gained some strength in not calling him or taking his calls and he will have to just "wonder" for a while. Cheetah

Pages
Hey All:
I so appreciate the responses from my post. Thnax so much..this is such a hard time for me now and this helped me sooo much. ((HUGS)) to all.
Nitro: I do feel that I would come across as being "needy and Clingy" if I told him that I want to hear from him more.
Yoga: of course you are right they are not the last men on earth. But for me I thought he was "it" for me and you know love clouds one's judgement..well mine anyway.
Saaty: Yes, I did not accept his call b/c of anger and I wanted to sort out my feelings an thoughts before I speak with him. I have yelled and cussed him out in past about things and I felt really bad and embrassed for him seing that side of me and I feel that being out of control emotionally will only make things worse. Also, I don't understand "why" I should "tell" him to contact me more..shouldnt this just be automatic?? His "actions" are speaking louder than any "words" that he can say.
In general...I do not feel that "Being busy" is an excuse either...if he is that "busy" he is too busy for our relationship and I will tell him that when I feel ready to talk to him. I am considering just not ever talking to him again and just "not say goodbye"..I dont feel I need closure this is not a "normal" relationship anyways. My heartaches so much and I will have to cut my losses and lick my "own" wounds.
Lilah: Me and my MM used to work together and rumors started and he spent so much time in my office etc that his work did start to suffer as well. He did that "turnaround" on me by less contact at work etc. I felt hurt as you do...I took it personally yet I saw that once I left where he is now working his attention got back focused on me.
And you are soo right..how can u tell what a man is thinking. I feel that my MM will say whatever he thinks I want to hear to not be mad at him. I heard a saying that
"Women fake orgasms..Men fake entire relationships" I fear this so much.
Dusty: I am so sorry what ur MM did to you. The wind down and then no contact. I really wondered if this is what my MM ws doing to me before he called. I still wonder now though b/c he has downplayed us being together as we had planned saying "Things on his end are not going as he planned and we have to wait a bit longer before we can be together..and then the 3 wks and NC what else could i think.
~Cheetah~
Oh well, hope I made some sense or may have helped the discussion along a bit.
C
a few months ago, i saw my MM one morning for a few hours and then went onto work. while i was traveling to my office, he called my cell and told me that day was his anniversary and they both forgot! jeez, what does that say about their M?
i'm having tons of issues at home. and being with MM is all that's keeping me sane at the moment. just talking with him puts some of those issues into a better perspective -- he sees them from his man view and that is sooo helpful sometimes.
anyway, take care!
gurl
Pages