MM not handling change well
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|Wed, 06-12-2013 - 11:28pm|
How do I help my MM except and feel comfortable with up coming changes in my life ? We are in year 3 of our affair 5 of being best friends, he has always been my rock & I his we were friends through my divorce from a abusive husband I honestly don't know where i'd be if he hadn't held my hand through everything the last 5 years. I have been his rock when he needs one also. When
we moved from friends to having an affair we both agreed nothing could ever come between our friendship meaning ifone of us decided that we didn't want to be in the relationship we would remain friends. If his marriage ended it would be her choice , but highly unlikely where they both wanted the kids. Where he would go if she kicked him out.
So years in to this my life is changing my last child is moving across the country for college soon, so I have been easing him in my plan knowing he doesn't do well with change even if it's my life and wouldn't change anything between us. If it effects me it makes him worry about me. So I have slowly bringing up my plans to buy a smaller home that would easier for me both financially & to maintain with it only being me. Well he's not handling it very well all of a sudden I am finding out he asked for a transfer that would cause him 2 hours added to his commute but a lot closer to me, figured out what his child support would be. But that isn't what has me questioing things when giving up my simple way of life (selling my home) he panicked asking how long I could do it on my own, what I would need to keep it. More then a married man could afford. When I brought up getting a second job for both keeping me from the empty nester blues & help me financially he went on and on about it would be to much on me to do. Saying something has to change his wife called which ended the conversation.
I don't know if he is worried about losing me with the changes or if he is upset I am not including him in the picture of my future more then heis now. Any ideas? I don't even know how to bring it up to him to ask him.