A MM perspective

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2009
A MM perspective
12
Tue, 07-07-2009 - 6:19pm

The more I read on this board and EAS, the more I see myself. And I'm not a knight in shining armor. My A has been going 3 plus years. She was my fantasy for more than 2 years before that. She was so out of reach I used to joke and call her my girlfriend to my wife. She is a neighbor who many refer to as Miss Perfect. My M has some real problems - 99% of them my fault. I never thought I could be with my AP. But guess what? We fell madly in love, best friends, hurt when we parted, excstacy when together. (My spelling sucks - sorry)

Now I tell myself - "Be careful what you wish for". The Talking Heads song - Burning down the house - Watch out, you might get what you're after.

Anyhow, my AP knows I love her and she has wanted to divorce her husband and me to divorce my wife. We have 5 kids between us under the age of 13. I love my AP, my wife??? - how can I love her if I do this to her? You F'n can't dude.

But I can't walk out on my wife and children. My AP says she can so my love is not as deep as hers. She respects my choice, but for the past 8 months (we both asked our spouses for a separation 8 months ago). I backed out. Then so did my AP - but only because I did. I can talk to my AP for hours and hours - there is never enough time for us, it always hurts deeply to say good bye, my wife - I time our cell phone calls - she doesn't know - they never go over 3 minutes. But my wife is a wonderful person, go figure but even our sex life is amazing - nearly every day even afer 10 plus years. My A is not about sex. Well, not just about sex. Even when my A ends, and it's rapidly going down the tubes, I believe I have done irrepairable harm to my marriage. Both our spouses are nearly certain we have been together. (But that's a different story.

I told my AP, among other reasons, that if I left my family for her, eventually my guilt would turn on us and it would never work. My AP is a dream come true to me. But my reality will never allow that dream to be my life. So I may love my AP, but we have no future.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 1:35am

for what it is worth, i am also single and never married because in


my humble opinion, all men cheat. stangely enough, i don't really


have an opinon on whether all women cheat, i have never been in


an a with a mw, lol. i do know, that in my experience, 9 times out of


10 i am more likely to be hit on by a married man than i am a


single man and generally it is because the mm is bored and is


looking for some excitement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Mon, 07-13-2009 - 1:20am

the men went for cover, lol....it is the wishy washy 'i am having too much


fun

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