MM talking about leaving his W

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
MM talking about leaving his W
6
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 5:28pm

Hi all!


I'm so confused and just don't know what to think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 5:49pm

A whole lot of things are

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 8:48pm
I agree with numberone that you might be jumping the gun on worrying about this. If it does get to the point where he's going to tell his wife he's leaving, you might want to share your doubts at that time. Don't let him leave if you're not sure about yourself - it sounds a lot like you might want to back out of it. But wait. Many married people talk about leaving for years but never do.

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 9:16pm
It's not that I don't trust myself, it's just since he has always said he wouldn't leave and now he is saying it all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 9:20am

kitty...you have very valid concerns and I think I see why.


These issues (loss of familial relationships, loss of social connections/status) crop up in any divorce, but it seems compounded in your mind b/c I don't see any other "reason" given for him leaving his W other than you. That may not be the case, you just didn't state it here. That's a LOT of pressure on you and your relationship...I know you're thinking, "what if he goes through all of that, and we don't work out?". Valid question.


This is why it's pretty universally stated among professionals in this arena (therapists) that the reasons for a D should never include another partner...leave because the M is bad, abusive, etc., but never for another person...it creates a dynaminc that is very difficult to overcome with the new(er) partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:52am

I agree with lexi and hiskimber's posts..


my thoughts are that your doubts are well founded because he's still married.


imagine a time and place where he's divorced, and still a father to his kids, and manages his family life as a divorced father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:05pm

No there is definately no easy answer.