MM, told W, he was leaving......
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MM, told W, he was leaving......
| Mon, 08-18-2003 - 8:32am |
They finished up their conversation over the weekend. She initiatlly told him to get his stuff and get out. Then when she realized that he would no longer be paying bills there, she backed down a little. He told her, his plan is to be out by the end of September. They decided that their dd would live with her mother (YEA!!!!) at least for now.
MM, is already, starting this emotional phase. He's been down since they finished the conversation. It's realizing that he won't see his dd "everyday", and that alone is about to kill him. I have no solution for him. If it hurst him that much to leave his dd, then he needs to stay.
What he needs to realize is, you can't have it both ways. You either stay with you W, and live in a horrible,miseable life. Or, you get out, and make the best of the situation. He will get to see his dd, just not everyday. It's not like he is moving around the world.

Well I guess its easier said then done...I do know that!! Im sure your MM will get through this...its just a phase to get used to be on his own. I know I had a hard time adjusting and I was the one wanting out. Now I am single and seeing a MM...loving life to the fullest.
I really do not know what to say but be there for him which I am sure you are. My MM told me Friday night he asked his wife for a D..and of course she said NO she wants if anything to get seperated not D. He said NO a divorce...then later on that night she had the nerve to tell his daughter who is 13...now I dont think that was cool getting the kids involved especially when she is not the biological mother...she has only been around for a few years. Anyhow I told MM hey why dont you consider seperating...see if thats who you want...you never know what you got till its gone. My MM just stared at me...he did not say anything...he just looked at me like I cant believe your telling me that. I just said look you never know your feelings might come out and realize hey I do love her and I want to be with her. I said its just a thought...Im a fair person...and I would not take advantage him wanting to divorce to snatch him away.
Its like my favorite saying IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE LET THEM FREE IF THEY COME BACK TO YOU THEY WERE MEANT TO BE FOR YOU IF NOT THEN .... WELL NOT MEANT TO BE....
I wish you the best with your MM...has he said anything about you two??
HUGS -Sandy
My thinking about the inital post is that it sounds like you're being supportive, and that's good....the end of a bad marriage has to be grieved just like any other, he'll be up some days, down some days. He can also plan on seeing his dd more often. Do you not like her, does she know who you are?
And, I don't know what's in the future for MM and I.
Thank you. Well its not that im trying to be supportive its more like I guess I know its not that easy just to get up and go. Its hard especially if kids are involved. I guess you can say supportive...but im not doing it to get him on my side. I really want him to step back and realize what he wants. The only thing I want out of him is to be honest with himself and with me...if he wants to be with her go for it...CONGRATS I will back away...and I have told him this. I have told his W if she wants me to back away from her H I would but it would have to come from him...she would have to ask him this and him tell me. His D is deaf I met her for the first time when I met his W - she snuck up on me I was waiting for MM to meet to go to a baseball game!! She called my cell asked me if I was in a red car I could not deny..she said can we meet. IM LIKE OH CRAP...sure. She was a very nice and pretty woman ... I introduced myself and she said H did not tell her I was going to go he said it was my sis b/f and him only. I just said it was a last minute thing I hope you dont mind...she was like no I just dont know why he lies. Im like W you need to talk to your H thats between you two. I am H friend and im not going to give you any reasons. She understood and basically said have a great time and thats when his daughter got out of the car and asked me if I knew her since she was a baby...it seems she has me confused. W asked me if I had met her before becuase she said she knew me..im like no sweety not me. MM before had dated hispanic women so maybe got me confused.
This morning MM called me like 5 times I did not answer...and I knew he was going on break about noon so I was prepared not to take anycalls at that time...well about 10am I got a call it was him..he was like why did you not answer I told him I did not want to talk to him...I wanted to give him some space. I had called him the night before and he was having dinner with his family including W so he told me that im like oh is she there he said yes..im like ok my bad talk to you later. Anyhow thats why I did not answer ... figured he was trying to work things out...he told me he was not...his D got stung by a bee and took her to his sis job she is a nurse to check her eye out and thats why they had a late night. I asked him are things getting better now...he told me NO...i left it alone.
I just try to be strong another thing I dont want to get hurt again.
How long have you been with your MM??
-Sandy