MM's divorce starting -I am on hold!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
MM's divorce starting -I am on hold!
2
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 6:52pm
I knew when this whole affair started that MM was not going to be married forever. Everyone that knows them also knows that they have just stayed married for the kids. Now it has just worn itself out and they are ending it. I have been there for my best friend through so much of his downward fall. I was there for a whole year being his friend that he talked to. Then the romance part for another year. I am having such a hard time with this on hold stuff ! He told me he wished we would of just stayed friends. He said he wished we would have not gotten romantic. I told him that it is too late for that now isn't it! I was crying so bad and I could hear him taking deep breaths while he tried to talk. He continued to explain all the finacial stuff he is going through and not knowing if he would be out on the street living or not! He told me this was not good-bye! It was just on hold ! This is all very hard. He promised me he would call me in 5 days. That will be tomorrow. I am looking forward to hearing his voice. I am feeling his pain, plus my own ! Alot to bare ! He has to keep me far away from this so I don't get hurt in this whole process. It's not working, I am hurting ! Trying to think about the good times we will have together soon though. Just needed to write this out. Hoping it relieves some of my pain. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 9:15pm
Trouble,

Just remember that not only is he going through and dealing with a lot at the momemt, as you are - that he is also looking out for your reputation.

If it ever came to light in your social circle, friends and family that you were in the picture, other than being the wonderful friend that you are - you will have to deal with being the reason their M disintegrated (whether it's true or not)!

Be patient, he is keeping you in the loop. He will call you tomorrow. He does have feeling for you, it's just that he has to focus on "the end" of his marriage at the moment.

There are many more difficult times ahead (believe me) and if you are willing to stick it out, the end result will be worth it. Give him the space he needs right now. If he feels that he has to reassure you everyday, on top of what he's dealing with, he may just end up resenting you. I know it's hard - I've been there!

Stay strong and if you need to talk or just a shoulder to cry on - please email me: red_bella37@hotmail.com

Take care

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 3:56am
Thanks for your input. I feel so all alone in this struggle. I don't want anyone to think it is my fault his family fell apart. You are so right there! So you have been through this before ? I know I have put alot of pressure on him to just see me. I hope he understands that this is hard for me too. I don't want him to resent me. He told me to learn how to put up a wall to protect myself! I told him No ! I am no good at walls. Actually I don't even know how to build one! I have always been open to my feelings and sharing them. It is who I am ! Maybe that is a bad quality ? I just pray I am strong enough to endure all this.