MM's Friend Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
MM's Friend Again
2
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:43pm
So, I went to lunch with MM's friend today. The divorced one (his wife cheated on him). The one I met the same night as MM. We three have been hanging out together--several times in the last few weeks. He knows about MM and me.

I'm really starting to like this guy. I didn't notice him at first. Kind of brushed him off. He was definitely the less aggressive of the two, but I remember from the beginning that he seemed to really like me. We've had many heart-to-heart discussions about what's going on in my life. I liked him, too, but I was so caught up in the lustiness of my encounters with MM.

The lunch went really well. I talked about how I felt like I was at a "rock bottom" part of my life, but how I've learned so much about myself from it. I'm noticing that this guy really seems to care about me--really take an interest in me, and in genuinely helping me through some of my issues. MM takes an interest in me sexually, and we talk a lot, but we talk mostly about him.

I still think lusty thoughts about MM, but I'm suddenly finding myself much more enamored with MM's friend than MM. I see him much, much more as "relationship" potential rather than "affair" potential. I slept with MM right away, probably because deep down I didn't care too much about the longevity of the relationship. With MM's friend, the relationship part really seems to be being cultivated.

These two friends seem close, and MM's friend hasn't hid his touchy-feely-friendliness towards me from MM, and MM hasn't seemed to mind--in fact he seems to be kind like it inflated his ego to know he was the one sleeping with me. I haven't talked to MM in a few days precisely because I had this sudden change of heart.

Do I tell MM? Or do I just talk to him like we're friends, but decline any invitations to have sex??? I'll be hanging out with these two in the near future, so I need to figure out this delicate situation soon...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:52pm
MSG9

Delicate situation indeed. But girl, who do you love??? LOL J/K

I would keep things on the slow side. Take things slowly. Don't rush. Keep it a the flirting level and play the hard to get thing. This will keep the "chasers" happpy for a while. It can be fun. So enjoy it! When it comes to decide on MM or friend - you might want to make sure there are not fist fights after your decision. *wink* It can get a little tricky. Good Luck!


Juliet

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 10:40pm
I still am flabbergasted that I'm in this situation. I never have been at anytime in my life...

Lunch was just so nice. The way he gave me the *huge* smile and waved when he got into his car on the way out from lunch.

Yes, moving slooooowly is definitely the name of the game here. This relationship has already been developing slowly, without me even realizing it. I've been having deep, emotional discussions with him for quite some time now. I was sort of blinded by the lights and excitement of MM. This seems much more interesting, more open, kind of freeing. He's getting to know the real me without the physical stuff getting in the way first, but with that tension building and building.

I may draw some real boundaries (gasp! boundaries?!) and if it gets hotter and heavier, let him know that I don't want to sleep with him until I officially file for divorce (happening soon, just need my ducks in a row)--because he's special, and I'm looking for a fresh start. With what happened between him and his wife, he may respect me more for that. That will also help me focus on developing my plan to end my marriage. He seems to be really pushing me to move forward.


Hmmmm...