MM's - W called me
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| Fri, 08-01-2003 - 9:33am |
See last night I went to the casinos and I had several hangup calls and I called my MM and she never answers his phone this time she did and I asked for him and she said he was not in...im like thx. Anyhow at 1am she called and my sis answered the phone and she asked for me and said she and H would like to talk to me nothing bad. My sis said well she is gambling upstairs...and she said oh another thing my H lied to me about. According to MM she asked if I liked casinos and he said NO. OH WELL!!
Anyhow I did not call back obviously but did call my MM this morning and he said that everything was fine...that she just wants to meet me and he said well you have been given her crank calls y dont you ask her. She was like what do you mean..and he said I looked through ur phone u r harassing my friends and they think ur loony. She was like oh well you and her talk way too much...apparently she saw the cell bill...he was like im not going to lie we talk about 90% of the day...I enjoy talking to her. According to her she thinks we are friends..and she said well y dont u invite her to dinner he said she is my friend not yours.
Anyhow she has left me several messages this morning and would like me to call her back. Im so confused. MM said it was no big deal that she wants to get to know me...how come he likes me so much and she does not have any friends...he said im not going to put you in that position he was like tell her NO you dont want to meet her...I said I cant be rude like that...he said fine I will do it for you. I said I feel bad for her...he said I dont. I said well im not going to meet her but I guess I can talk to her on the phone. I mean what could she possibly have to say...IM NERVOUS.
-Sandy

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I think cheshire is very right. I had
similar thoughts, but did not post.
good luck, and I hope you don't need it...
Hey Ladies, the following message is meant for both of you . . . sorry it's taken me a while to respond, but life has been busy and crazy lately!
Regarding my relationshsip with MM's W -- she and I were friends before MM and I started fooling around (though we were in the heavy flirting stage). However, I knew MM before I met his W, and my loyalties (especially as a friend) are firmly with MM.
MM and his W seem to constantly be fighting, so when she and I would get together for lunch, W would tend to vent about problems in her marriage. So it wasn't like I had to sit there and listen to her describe how wonderful he is or what great sex they have.
W has an increasing number of personal problems; she is insecure about her career abilities, hates her body, flies off the handle easily around her H (I hear this from MM and my DH and I have observed her doing it firsthand), and tends to have major mood shifts lately. I feel bad for W, as I know she is a good & loving person, but I think she and her H (my MM) got married too young and either really did know one another well enough or had unrealistic expectations of what married life is all about. They are both in their early-mid-20's, are only children, and thankfully have NO KIDS.
As DH and I socialize with MM and W, we both are of the opinion that their marriage will not survive . I think the combination of these factors make it much easier to be in her presence, and maintain some sort of relationship with MM's W, because I know deep down that I am NOT THE PROBLEM.
Well I like that at least you know its not on you or because of you the marriage is not working out. I dont think I would be able to handle that if that were the case.
I had asked my MM and told him I did not want any problems with his W especially after she has his baby a few months ago. I was like you need to work things out...and he said sandy I do not love her or I am not in love with her. She is the mother of my child but thats that...she knew we were not ready to have a child...I did not have a set job and I still do not have my Masters. She stopped taking the bc so he would not leave...and he did not know this.
He said that even if I was not around things would not change between them...so that made me feel better because I would not like to split a family up like that.
I know being with a MM is not a good thing..but Im happy.
But thank you for your input on your MM's - W...wow...as far as it goes with my MM's W its not happening I talked to her on the phone but no we are not going to meet...even MM told her NO...
Thx
Thank you for your concern...I do not plan to meet her...as far as him and her trying to plot something against me or join in...NO...
Its not like that at all...
She is just suspicious of us...but when she called not once did she ask me are you cheating with my H. She just called and try to be a friend....but my MM said just to tell her no...but he did that for me.
Thanks for your concern and advise...Sandy
Good Morning how are things going for you??? I added you in yahoo...so I hope you add messenger on soon!!
Well about me getting mad...they were planning on getting a home prior to me being around...and we talked about it. NO he did not go look at houses he was at home arguing with her...I said why did she tell me that then...he was like most likely to discourage you...I said well it worked. But we talked last night...and his lease in his apt is up at the end of the year and he was going to get a house with her..he said he was not going to sugar coat it and he has always been honest even if the truth hurts....and he has. He said so I am not going to start lying now. He said they have not looked for houses but they were..he said sandy its 3 girls in a 2bedroom apt...we cant be like this...its crowded...TRUE I AGREE...but still...he said things between us are not going to change...he swears he is not going to let me go. I said you let me go no im going to let you go...I said im going to enjoy you from here till the end of the year you can be all hers next year...I said y wait till then I told him im too far in with him...I cant leave right now but I need to build courage to do that. I WILL. I told him you cant expect me to live like this the rest of my life being the other woman. He said of course not sandy but you are in school right now and have so much going for you..he said I told you and we have discussed this...he wants me to have a baby...but IM AGAINST THAT...and he said once I graduate we are going to have one thats that...and I have told him I wont have a baby until he has left her and then we would talk about it. So he has agreed...that he was going to wait till I graduate and then we could plan on having a child (which I dont want one not wi/o marriage NO) and he knows this..he said you have a year and a half to go...by then I will have my ducks ina row an establish job...and you will be my wife....mrs. blabla.....
So YES we have talked about the future...but not until I graduate from College...but the thing is like I told him..getting a house is a big commitment and makes things harder to leave...he says its not...to trust him.
Me well my opinion once fall semester starts I will be occupied and hopefully start going out again with my classmates like before and try to give my MM less time so I can wing him off...becuase I just dont believe him leaving her after they get a house...I dont know..I know he needs more space...but it just makes it more promising on them...
Thanks for being there for me....Sandy
She eventually became hostile toward me & I refused to answer her questions, telling her to ask MM. Well, she phoned me one day about 20x at work & I reported her to my company's version of internal affairs. They investigated, contacted her employer & she was terminated. That's not what I wanted; just wanted her to stop harrassing me at work.
If ever in that situation again, I've got nothin' to say to nobody.
Good luck with your MM's wife. Don't call her unless you are going to tell her the truth. If you are anything like me, I couldn't lie for MM. One leads to another and then another and before long you won't know which is true or not.
Play it safe; Don't call her!!!!! Best of luck!!!!
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