MM's W has been trying to reach me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
MM's W has been trying to reach me....
4
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 5:02pm
Well, she told him she was going to be checking his cell phone bill, and she did...since we live in different states, it's not hard for her to pick out my number. Thank goodness it's only my cell # and not my home # (lol). She started calling at 8:00 this morning (blocking her # before she does, too)...now she has her cousin calling me as well, and her mother is calling MM. Of course I haven't answered the phone and don't want to! MM thought I should answer and pretend to be his friends gf or something...I think it's too risky (I might not have an answer to something she might ask me!), and I really just don't feel the need to try and lie to her -- it's on MM to do that if that's what he chooses to do! Then again, what if by not answering I'm just making myself look all the more guilty??

MM said she called him over and over again this morning (after she went over the bill and tried to call me a few times and got my voice-mail) and that she's now threatening D. He also said that she'll most likely call me from his phone after he gets home tonight, to see if I'll answer when it's HIS number that shows up. She has a pretty good idea that it's me -- the whole time they've been together she's been paranoid that him and I still had something between us.

So...what should I do? Should I answer the phone and lie, or continue trying to avoid her? (Which, by the way, is bad for business for me, since I'm self-employed and all my business calls come through on my cell, I can never really be sure if it's her or a business associate)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 5:23pm
mz...

I know how you are feeling I about freaked out when W called me. I just played it off to be his friend since he does have female friends. The only thing I tell her is to get with her H about it. And if she had trust issues it was for him to answer them not me. My MM's W - bought it!! She still calls me for example today she called me at work she was not expecting me to be at the front...she asked for my extension Im like this is Sandy ext..soso...CLICK...she hung up!! I still get calls from private numbers...it gets annoying. MM caught her he looked at her phone bill and confronted her told her not to be calling his friends. Also she has called me from his phone...a few times I have answered hey baby .. OOPS not MM his wife...she just hangs up!! I have had that several times.

Well I know I probably did not help you much..but it has worked for me to tell her she needs to talk to her H.

Hugs - Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 6:18pm
Well, she really has no right to harass you by calling your cell phone all day, and why isn't mm protecting you more in this, seems like he's calling in plays from the sidelines but not running any interference!

I have a problem with lying also, so I understand your not wanting to do that. Does the wife know your name and have you two been exposed before, you said she is paranoid that you and he might be still involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 7:01pm
Yes, she knows my name, she knows a lot about me, though we've never met. I'm MM's exW (long story, lol).

She actually hasn't called in the last couple of hours -- MM says she's waiting for him to get home so that she can use his phone to call me. Needless to say, I'll be turning my phone off before he goes home!

I just don't see any point in trying to convince her that I'm just a "friend" or a "friend's gf"...

Then again, like I said in my original post, I don't want to act "guilty" by not answering every time she calls either...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 7:31pm
MZ, honey, answer your phone. Though you contribute to it, you shouldn't be caught in the middle of his deception to her. You are not the REASON he strayed, but a symptom of the cause of his discontent at home. Her initial beef should be with her husband. When she phones, just tell her that you'd appreciate it if she'd cease phoning you & present her concerns and questions to her husband. Hang up. That's it.