Modern-Day Tragedy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Modern-Day Tragedy?
3
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 10:21pm
of course, I've asked myself "how did I allow myself to get into this situation?" but if given the chance, I wouldn't have done it any differently. MM and I have been "together" since January 2003. we worked together, and began an intense, torrid, love affair. 10 months later and we're still going as strong as ever. we've been through it all- pregnancy, him getting caught, we ended it a few times (but the longest we could stand it was only a few weeks)

it's so difficult when you love someone so much... that you have to ignore those natural feelings you have when you're in love with someone. the natural progression of things is to want to be together.. to start a new life together. we both want to do that, but we never will. we've chosen not to. we cannot break up our families. we are both married with young children. so I suppose we've chosen the lesser of two evils- to continue seeing each other when we can without splitting up anyone's family.

but god, it's so hard sometimes. on average, we can meet each other about once or twice a week for about an hour. and we can have "alone time" for hours and hours about once every 1-2 months. other than that, it's phone and email, but only during business hours. we don't work at the same place anymore, and that's hard to get used to. we may never get used to it.

but do I realize what I really want? I don't think so. I love him so much... but I cannot say he is my soul mate? it's just not there, deep down. I really think it wouldn't work. and we just couldn't spilt up our families. it would destroy too many innocent bystanders.

oh well, I just wanted to vent. I love him, I constantly think about him, but I know it's not meant to be. but I don't want this to end, either.



Complicated

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 11:11pm

Vent, vent & vent! that's what we're hear for hon.


After all I've been through with my EMA... I'd do it all over again... and again! I've also been through pregnancies on both sides, getting caught out by DH... and just the many trying things that we have to deal with... but I'd do it all over for a chance to have this man in my life.


I've found that he's given me the strength to be who I want to be and do what I want to do... and in doing so being able to live the life I want to live.


I don't think about a future with MM... but never think of him not in my future... he has his family and I have mine.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 8:48am
Complicated - I think you just spoke from my heart. Im speechless...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 10:17am
Hi Complicated,

Don't worry, relax, and enjoy it for what it is, an extramarital affair, nothing more, nothing less. You're young and have your life ahead of you. Don't waste precious time worrying about this or that. You love two men, plain and simple. One you're married to, the other you're not and never will be and don't wanna be. Just be careful and come to this board for tips and pointers and to vent and let all this frustration out. That's what we're here for. We've either all btdt, or are going thru the same thing. I'm a lot older than you, old enough to be your mom, and all I can say is take it slow and enjoy things one day at a time.

Hugs

Luvin