money, money, money

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2003
money, money, money
14
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 9:51pm
I've been wondering how many of you get any financial help from your MM, in any form, shopping, vacations, help if needed.... do you feel sometimes it fills the gap of your MM being not fully available? Hmmmm....what if you could barely make both ends meet while he's very well off? Would it bother you at all? Be honest ladies :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 9:47am
Hmmm...

(Sorry if this might sound a bit like I'm on the wifes side here, but I'd like you to think of a few things here...)

You said what SHE makes a year...you didn't say what HE makes a year...

How long they were married?

How many kids?

You say it's "HIS" savings?

From the gist of your post, it seems they've been married for awhile...

Divorce is tough for all parties, but you have to realize that they built that life together...he didn't do it all by himself...

It doesn't sound like it's an abnormal settlement...

She has custody of the kids, would you expect her to uproot them out of their house so you could live there?

Child support is usually a percentage of his income...25% in Minnesota for one child...33% for more than one...

50% of savings/retirement funds is also pretty basic...

A lot of women can be vindictive, true, but if you were in her shoes, how would you react?

20 years down the road, the 2 of you have built a life together, and he finds a new "you"...what do you then? Let him walk away with all the assets of the marriage?

I guess I'm pretty realistic as to what would happen financially if my MM were to get divorced...

I'd have the "cake" but the "frosting" wouldn't be there...LOL...

He has 2 kids, one who just graduated from college and is on his own now, and a daughter in college...

What worries me more is the respect he'll lose from his children were he to get divorced due to her finding out about me...

Where you and he go after the divorce is up to you...

You have the cake, you'll be adding your own frosting, unfortunately without all the ingredients you envisioned when you got involved with him...

~Laurie~


























Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 9:53am
My MM and I both make a really good living. I would never think of asking him for money. When we're out sometimes I pay sometimes he pays. I have no problems with paying for the hotel sometimes or buying a round of drinks. A couple of weeks ago while grocery shopping I found king crab legs on sale, I bought him a couple of pounds and delivered them with a Smile:):) I'm a firm believer that when I go down to the bar (for instance) where all my guy friends hang out. I walk in the door and buy all the boys a round of drinks. There are some women that walk in and expect the boys to buy their drinks. I don't think it right, that's just my opinion! NMR
Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 11:03am
Hi Buck, Just for the record, I totaly agree with you! You never know until the shoe is on the other foot. There's always three sides to every story. NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 11:20am
My MM makes a considerable amount more money than I do...however, I still don't think it would be an easy thing to take money from him. Like an earlier post, however, jewelry and chocolate...I wouldn't turn that down - LOL! He's paid for dinners and hotel expenses, but he insists on that. He knows how hard it would be for me to explain those expenses to the H when paying bills. He has some extra money he uses for that - he doesn't have to explain that to his W.

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