Well I'm no lawyer - and honestly - even if someone on the board were one - without knowing the state we are dealing with and probably alot of other factors - I'm not sure anyone would want to give too much legal advice -but I would think that you are probably looking at nothing less than six months to a year on this one - just kinda the way things tend to go -you know??
In the meantime - you are doing the right thing by stepping back - letting him deal with things as he needs to - he really needs to be supportive to his W and child right now - and once all of this gets wrapped up-
When he talks about the possibility of losing the rights to be with his child as a result of our relationship, his voice quivers and it kills me. So this is the only way to make sure his wife can't take his child away.>>>>
Either your AP has a crappy attorney or your AP is feeding you line after line of BS. I'm guessing on the latter.
Custody in any state is determined based on the *best interests of the child,* regardless of whether one of the parents is having an extramarital relationship. For example, if the *mother* was the one having the affair, BUT the children were better off living with the mother - then most likely the parents would share custody with the mother getting physical custody. BUT let's say it could be proven that the mother's boyfriend was abusive though, then I could see their being an issue with custody. The issue of custody in either scenerio still has *nothing* to do with adultery though.
Do you honestly believe the court is going to "punish" a cheating spouse because of an affair as it relates to custody/visitation? That's ridiculous, especially since it is the child who would suffer and that's just not the way it goes down. Sorry. If you don't believe me, go make an appointment for a legal consultation.
He's lying to you. He spoke to an attorney and he's "terrified of losing custody?" That's a load of BS -- your AP never spoke to an attorney.
But if it makes you happy believing all the BS he's feeding you, then . . . .
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Hi Vanillabeanie,
I think right now would be the best time to step back from the situation with this man.
I’m not sure what you’re asking.
Wow eco, you hardly make this message board a supportive one!
“Support” does not = telling you what you WANT to hear.
"From a legal standpoint..." What are you talking about?
Hi Vanilla -
Well I'm no lawyer - and honestly - even if someone on the board were one - without knowing the state we are dealing with and probably alot of other factors - I'm not sure anyone would want to give too much legal advice -but I would think that you are probably looking at nothing less than six months to a year on this one - just kinda the way things tend to go -you know??
In the meantime - you are doing the right thing by stepping back - letting him deal with things as he needs to - he really needs to be supportive to his W and child right now - and once all of this gets wrapped up-
Hi Tgr, thank you for your post.
The title of your post asks “Is anyone here a lawyer?”.
<<<
When he talks about the possibility of losing the rights to be with his child as a result of our relationship, his voice quivers and it kills me. So this is the only way to make sure his wife can't take his child away.>>>>
Either your AP has a crappy attorney or your AP is feeding you line after line of BS. I'm guessing on the latter.
Custody in any state is determined based on the *best interests of the child,* regardless of whether one of the parents is having an extramarital relationship. For example, if the *mother* was the one having the affair, BUT the children were better off living with the mother - then most likely the parents would share custody with the mother getting physical custody. BUT let's say it could be proven that the mother's boyfriend was abusive though, then I could see their being an issue with custody. The issue of custody in either scenerio still has *nothing* to do with adultery though.
Do you honestly believe the court is going to "punish" a cheating spouse because of an affair as it relates to custody/visitation? That's ridiculous, especially since it is the child who would suffer and that's just not the way it goes down. Sorry. If you don't believe me, go make an appointment for a legal consultation.
He's lying to you. He spoke to an attorney and he's "terrified of losing custody?" That's a load of BS -- your AP never spoke to an attorney.
But if it makes you happy believing all the BS he's feeding you, then . . . .
Edited 2/22/2009 3:39 pm ET by longisland2004
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