Moving on??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Moving on??
5
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 12:38am
Quick update. A few weeks ago I posted that MM hasn't called me. All contact has been initiated by me. I felt that we were at the end of the A but was having a very hard time admitting it to myself considering his past actions. This is a LDA so the only contact we had was by phone or e-mail, we had cell phones exclusively for us to contact one another. Well MM has not had his cell phone ON in over a month so I had been contacting him once a week on an alternate phone. All conversations were a few minutes and consisted of general conversation. The most difficult part was that we have been best friends for soooo many years and now we were reduced to discussing the weather. So last week I called yet again and finally got him to really talk to me. Long story short, he told me that he had withdrawn from everyone to try to figure out what is going on with his life. Basically he can not resolve himself to D since his kids are so young, which I fully understand (ok the rational side of me can understand). I asked him if he wants to go back to being just friends, if that is what he wants, then I can live with it, but I need to know something. Regardless of his decision, I would always be supportive of him, I would comfort him, and I would always love him - in whatever capacity that may be. We talked for almost an hour. Where does this leave us....he is in love with me, he wishes we could have a future together but.....

In some way I guess I have the closure necessary to move past this. I'll never be over it because I am in love with him, I know he is my soul mate - we just have bad timing. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or that I don't miss him, but I am not as much of a wreck as I have been these past two months. I am concentrating on the positive things in my life, simplifing my life and opening new doors.

No I would not change anything if I had to do it all over again because I know that this wonderful, incredible man is in love with me and I wouldn't want to have missed that experience. For me, I felt emotions I never knew possible or that I was even capable of feeling. Who knows what the future holds. Thanks for all of your support, comfort and encouragement during this time in my life and I will stop by every now and then to see how all of my new friends are doing.

God bless all of you.

saatty

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: saatty
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 11:18am
gee saatty, you sound so grownup! you are handling this situation very well and i'm glad for you that even though you are sad about the ending of the A, YOU are okay with it and moving on with your life.

not every R turns out the way we want it to, but just knowing there is someone in the world who "gets" you and loves you, even though you cannot be together, should be a comfort to you.

stay positive and best of luck in the future,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
In reply to: saatty
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 11:59pm
Saatty,

The thoughts you expressed are exactly how I would want to handle the ending of my own A with MM (for me, that ending is still a potential unknown of the future). However, he is my best friend, and no matter what happens between us in this R, I want that friendship to continue with him, and I want to support him in whatever decisions he makes as any friend would.

Your words are an inspiration and I wish you much happiness for the future.

Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
In reply to: saatty
Thu, 11-06-2003 - 8:43am
Saatty thank you for sharing your inspirational and heartfelt emotions with all of us. Gurl said it exactly right "you sound so grown-up", that was my exact thought while reading your post...You are definately handling this situation in the most mature manner possible.

Please be sure to swing in now and again and let us know how you are doing...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: saatty
Thu, 11-06-2003 - 3:11pm
Good afternoon my friends. Just wanted to share that week one of my business has been very "enriching" in all senses of the word. I made money, new contacts and overall had a wonderful week!

Oh and by the way I met a very nice, SINGLE, emotionally stable father of two. He's older than me (smile, smile, as I was the one who broke the pattern on the how old is your MM string). I will admit that it is hard to move past this stage of my life. Yes there are times when I find myself not as receptive to the attention I receive from available men because my heart is recovering and "they" don't compare to MM. Well you know what, 10 days have passed since I even tried to call him.

For those of you on the edge - it is hard, but no more difficult than the rollercoaster ride we've all been on. This is more like a highway with pot holes, it will jar you for a second, but you don't lose control.

Smiles everyone it is almost Friday!!!

saatty

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: saatty
Thu, 11-06-2003 - 3:41pm
saatty, *SMILE* *APPLAUSE* *HUGS* girlfriend!!

YOU really are going to be fine. recovery (from anything) takes time and patience, both of which you seem to have plenty of right now.

and good for you and your biz! that sounds like the perfect antidote to your personal situation. good for you girl!!

best of luck all around, honey, and keep in touch, will ya!

gurl