to much to handle
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| Thu, 08-21-2008 - 3:25pm |
I am so hurt and confused right now. I am so in love with AP I have loved him longer than my DH. I have a young child w/dh and we have been married for 6yr. MY ap does not have kids nor is he in a relationship. We use to date in HS and stayed together until the first year of college. but then he left the country b/c his father was sick back home. I love him so much but after he left I started dating my Dh. we married after 2ys dating than 1 month later my ex came back and we have been seeing each other every since. I am living this double life.
I go with AP to family functions and everything every1 thinks we are going to get married and now he is asking me to choose. I don't know what to do b/c I love him so much but I love dh as well. For the past 6yr I had them both. This may be selfish but I want to keep it that way. my dh and I have great sex and often. but

Nene -
First welcome to the board - I am so glad you found us.
I wish I could get away for a while to think it over but
If you feel like you cannot choose, instead of thinking about which one you see yourself with in 5 years, which one do you believe you cannot live without? (Or rather, don't want to live without). Honestly, you really do have to choose. Not because its "the right thing" - there are, as Tiger said, many people out here who live that double life very happily. But because its what AP is asking of you. If you don't choose, he will leave. He's not saying that right now, but its inevitable, IMO.
One more thought. If they are both truly on equal footing in your eyes, my advice - and it is only that, and Tiger is right that only YOU can make this choice - but my advice would be to stay with the one with whom you have a child - H. Because you are not just choosing between two men here. Again, if you love them both equally and if they make you equally happy.
Whatever you choose, stick with it. And be sure you can live with it. To make a choice and then change your mind would be unthinkably hurtful to everyone involved. And remember that neither choice is going to be easy for you.
Hugs to you. And welcome to the board.
This may sound incredibly selfish but I know that