It sounds like we might have a lot in common as my AP also has a young child... that is something that is very difficult and adds to the complication of everything.
It works for us very well.i am not stuck even.I have a girlfriend who is M ,Lol.people have long distance relationsps and dont see or talk to each other all the time.i equate my A to that,maybe.who kbnows? i am satisfied.My M was far from being satisfactory and i got to believe that M is a gateway to killn the kind of love we share.Its all in the mind.even if i put pressure on her then ( that is many years ago)there would have been many what ifs.like, what if we didnt work out in real then the love we have now would have turned into hate or who knows what.what if our exs remained innour lives and made our life toxic,etc,etc,etc,etc. there was no 'wait' in my A.it was a decision whivh needed to be made by me and i made it but not without any inner struggle,like many people here. i am moving on with my life,it has not stopped.the only difference is that i settled in a relationship which has love in it even after many many years.and i believe which very rarely any real relationship has after so many yeras of living together.
I don't know how I do it...maybe because I DO want what's best for him. I could let the jealousy take over (like right now, waiting for him to call) but that isn't good for anyone. So I just suck up the sick feeling, concentrate on other things, and go on.
Please remember that pain and hurt and letting go are NOT the end of the world...honestly. Jealousy is not about the other person or their actions, it is about us being able to handle whatever is thrown at us (and we can handle anything).
Sorry I couldn't give you a better answer...it's all about making the choice to be okay. make that choice, and you will be.
Pages
What an amazing post to read...thank you for your insight into the "other" side of this.
Val
William...I totally agree with you.
Val,
Anon... We decided the summer time...to talk more seriously about what he wants exactly and for me in my mind, I have oct.
Thanks Maystone.
Anon,
It sounds like we might have a lot in common as my AP also has a young child... that is something that is very difficult and adds to the complication of everything.
It works for us very well.i am not stuck even.I have a girlfriend who is M ,Lol.people have long distance relationsps and dont see or talk to each other all the time.i equate my A to that,maybe.who kbnows? i am satisfied.My M was far from being satisfactory and i got to believe that M is a gateway to killn the kind of love we share.Its all in the mind.even if i put pressure on her then ( that is many years ago)there would have been many what ifs.like, what if we didnt work out in real then the love we have now would have turned into hate or who knows what.what if our exs remained innour lives and made our life toxic,etc,etc,etc,etc.
there was no 'wait' in my A.it was a decision whivh needed to be made by me and i made it but not without any inner struggle,like many people here.
i am moving on with my life,it has not stopped.the only difference is that i settled in a relationship which has love in it even after many many years.and i believe which very rarely any real relationship has after so many yeras of living together.
pEAcE
I don't know how I do it...maybe because I DO want what's best for him. I could let the jealousy take over (like right now, waiting for him to call) but that isn't good for anyone. So I just suck up the sick feeling, concentrate on other things, and go on.
Please remember that pain and hurt and letting go are NOT the end of the world...honestly. Jealousy is not about the other person or their actions, it is about us being able to handle whatever is thrown at us (and we can handle anything).
Sorry I couldn't give you a better answer...it's all about making the choice to be okay. make that choice, and you will be.
Hugs,
Val
Pages