MW with S men

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
MW with S men
17
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 12:03am
Is there anyone on here that is married and the AP is a single man? I really need some advice and insight on that side of it. I am M and have been with my single AP for almost 3 years. I have a hard time dealing with things sometimes, as do we all. How do you deal with them dating others? I have let him know about my love for him and he was a little taken aback but is still seeing me. How is it going for others?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 11:59am
I was mw he was sm. I told him many times that he was welcome to date whomever he pleased. For me, if he had actually done that, my a would have been over. couldn't really tell you why for sure. But, he really wasn't interested in anyone but me. Plus, he was too busy to date anyone, which is what made me perfect! LOL He knows I love him and I know he loves me, madly and passionately, in fact. So, now I'm divorced and I see my honey whenever I please, I sleep with him whenever I please. I even hold his hand in public. My church defines an affair as ANY relationship with a man not your husband, and in that strict sense, we've been having an a since last July, so a year and a half. But based on that definition, I've had mulitple affairs, as I've always maintained men as friends. AP and I started as just friends, but don't most a's start that way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 12:29pm
Yes, they do. I am starting to think that there are not a lot of ppl on here in my situation. I wonder why? I don't think I could handle dating a MM. Dating a single one is stressful enough, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 10:07pm
"I don't think I could handle dating a MM." you are married too right? if you are, i often wonder how on EARTH DO MARRIED OTHER WOMEN MANAGE? that is married women who are involved in an affair with married men. you are right. i am sure dating a single man with you being married is stressful. it is worse when both of you are married. STRESS!!! in block capitals. i am single, but having been a member of this site and another womens site for a long time now, i have heard the ladies complain and share their thoughts.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 12:55pm
My affairs have always been with SM, for some reason. I prefer it that way. It's complicated enough without them being tied down. I am so thankful for this board!! It has helped me immensely. Are you seeing a MM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 4:37pm
Actually I was involved with a MM until he became single, so I guess I can comment on whats it like being with a MM and
~Layla~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 12:22am
i was seeing one for 10 years but i ended it a long time ago but i can identify with this type of situation. when i hear people talk about their affairs whether they are sw with mm or mw with sm or mw and mm, i always love to share my experiences with persons.i have learnt a lot too over the years while being a member of this site and another womens site for other women. learnt a whole lot.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 12:24am
wow. i will discuss this further with you tomorrow as i am going to bed. i am sleepy.
k2002
k2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2009
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 11:17am
Let me ask you....how do you handle them being single? does jealousy on your part ever come into play? I wasnt jealous of his wife when he was married, but now that he is single Im jealous of every woman out there as a potential threat, mainly because "she" would be able to give him the time in a relationship that he should have with her.
~Layla~
~Layla~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 12:50pm
I do get jealous at times but he doesn't discuss other women with me and I don't ask. I just expect that he will be with them. I would never ask about it and fuss at him for it, I have no right. It's hard sometimes, yes. But I don't think he is, right now, for some reason. I love him being single because he is more available to see me. We are getting closer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2009
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 7:09pm
My SM says I do have a right to ask and expect an answer because he has chosen to be committed to me and accountable. So if I need to know where he is and with who, he has no problem telling me. I turned it around on him and asked if the tables were turned and I was the single one, how would he like my going out on dates. and he said he would not be able to stand it. Same goes for me. So for me, I need to know he is committed to our relationship and he is not seeing anyone else. Plus, I cant risk him going to bed with other women and passing anything
~Layla~

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