This is my 14 years story

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
This is my 14 years story
1
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 7:42am
Here is my story......We met at work in the same company. We commuted together on the same train in the morning or night. I would see him everyday; be intimate once a week. After 10 months of our relationship, he broke up with me. I was devastated; it broke my heart. I tried to get back with him but he refused. So I tried to focus my energies in my marriage. I became pregnant with my first. I ran into him at the train station and told him of the news; he was excited to know that I was going to be a Mommy. He started calling me and taking the train with me again; wanting to know how and when I got pregnant. As I grew, he started to get weird by telling me that physically I can deal with deal but mentality I can't ... you are having another man's baby. Duh? I went on maternity leave and kept in-touch with him; me doing the calls and then after two months; he started to see me intimately again. I went back to work, a co-worker who couldn't stand me found out about us and sent a letter home to my husband attention. I intercepted the letter. I shown him the letter and he freaked out...for two days I acted cool about this letter to find out who did it. I found out and got legal and personnel involved and they reprimand this woman and threaten her with Mail fraud; 10,000 fine or jail time for a year. She admitted this and told that she wouldn't do it again. Scared the crap out of her! Now,I needed to get out from this department because of this woman. So there was a job opening in his department that I applied for not once but twice and didn't get the job. He didn't help me at all. Then my department was sold to an outside company and I begged him to help me being that he was in personnel; he could help me get a position elsewhere in the company but no suck luck. He wanted no part of it. I guess he thought people would talk. So my department was sold and couldn't return to the company for three years due to the sale. Anyway, I left the new company because I couldn't stand my boss. I stayed home for 8 months then found a job nearby and worked there for about a year and half. During that time, we met at a private place but I didn't see him on a weekly basis anymore. I got pregnant again with my second. Didn't tell him because of his reaction to my first; so I waited. Then when I was five months pregnant and I hide it well, he saw that I was; and was hurt that I didn't tell him right away. I told him if I told you then I will never see you. After we met and was intimate then went home, I was right. I didn't get to see him until my second was 5 months old. Since the birth of my second, I stayed home till this day, I would call and call leave message after message then he would call me. As for seeing him, he claims that his job got more demanding and time was going to be tough. I would see him once every month, or two or three. During those long months, I wouldn't hear from him at all unless I would place many calls in. Last August, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was given three months to live. It was horrible, I focused my attention on my father and his legal matters. My calls to my MM diminished greatly but did he noticed....not at all. Last December, my father died a week before Christmas. On that day he died, which my siblings and I watched...it was devasting, he was the first one I called to and left a message that my father died. I didn't received any calls back. This hurt alot. When I finally talked to him it was well after New Year's. He told me that he called me the day after he received my message but no one answer and that was it. I checked my caller-ID and there was nothing. You would have thought that if no one answers to keep trying right? Not in his book. He told me that he was on vacation. When I saw him was late January. This past March, I decided to have a tummy tuck and was extremely excited and nervous. I hadn't seen him since February 15th! So I left him a message that I was going into surgery didn't tell him what kind of surgery, I thought I would tell him when I saw him. No return call. March 5th; he calls and wants to swing by, sure. I mention again my surgery and he was like he heard it for the first time. I told him I left him a message and he said he couldn't remember the message...He deleted it without listening to it. Anyway, the 17th was the day, I called him a day before and express my feelings to him in case of any complications during surgery. One night stay in the hospital. When I came home, I left him a message to call. Nothing. After a week had gone by, I finally got him directly and he forgot that I had the surgery. At the end of April was my birthday, he knows what I wanted to do and that was to see him and all I got was an early morning call wishing me Happy Birthday. It is now the middle of May, and I haven't seen but spoken to him on the phone. I am so frustrated, lonely and depressed over this "relationship", I am so hungry for his touch that it is so sad. I told him of this, and he said that there was nothing he can do because of his heavy work load and extreme traveling. He lives very close to me that I can meet him but he nevers does, he has my cell phone number but never uses it, I have a car but he doesn't because of his kids are home from COLLEGE. To me it's excuse after excuse. Now, he slams me with this game of not calling him to see how long I can hold off in calling him in order for him to call me.

I have given him the go ahead to break up with me many times because he shows no interest in me but he hasn't taken it. Tells me ... "do what I have to do..??? One part of me feels that there is someone else which he has clearly stated that there is not.

What is sad and very depressing is that he has always called the shots to this relationship as if my views, opinions, feelings didn't not matter at all. It's either his way or the highway. It's all about him. I feel so defeated here that all I want to do is cry.







iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 9:01am
Adios to him.....seriously!! You deserve so much better. It's HIS loss. Focus on YOU and what YOU want. Kick him to the curb!! He obviously doesn't deserve someone like you!

KC