on my cloud....update
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| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 5:19pm |
I stepped back...so many things were jumping in my mind -
I figured he was having the same questions and so I gave him some time and space -- which he absolutely protested but I was not going to be influential just supportive and it's hard to bite your tongue when you are in love with someone and want the best for them
Anyway -- his W sought out a therapist -- she was happy with this therapist for 2 or 3 sessions and has now decided they don't need therapy when he began taking MM's side of things (at the first session he was pro-W - at the second he started to take a 180 and was pro-MM) after 3 it was done !!!!
I was still talking to MM about every 3rd day or so just to see how he was doing, well after his 3rd therapy appt he insisted that we meet - saying that he was tired of this distance I was putting between us that it was finally time for me to tell him to his face once and for all where we were --- that he wasn't hearing it over the phone or in an email or in a text message -- that put a jump start to my heart because you never want to be faced with having to make a decision in an EMA --- plus I am good at compartmentalizing and shoving things to one side or the other until it's a good time to bring it out on the table....MY TERMS this was not so I was terrified !!!
I figured once I saw MM I would know what to do so I just went about my day and waited until it was time to meet -
I of course am always early--- knots in my stomach about what am I going to say -- how am I going to feel....9 weeks of no physical contact was about to end -
When he pulled up beside me I could not believe the relief -- there he was again after all this time just smiling at me
When I got into the car beside him he just pulled me near and whispered in my ear "where have you been all of my life" and I just smiled like I had just left his arms yesterday and there we were again - caught up in each other like we had never skipped a beat -
He and I know we have this connection - no matter how hard we try to stay away (or I try to stay away) --
To hear his voice is wonderful but to hear his voice and touch his face, see his smile - is beyond anything I will ever be able to describe ...it's like having watching the prettiest sunset - seeing the brightest star -
He is amazing he is my sunset and my brightest star
I am happy to be where I am
Kikki

<<>>
I don't know what to say. My own heart skipped a beat while reading your post.
This is not a good thing given where I am supposed to be directing my attentions, but I didn't want it to go by the wayside.
I have to say that I am so damn envious!
Take care
Red
I am so happy for you. You have a great sense in how you feel about your MM and the faith that you have in your relationship. The connection that seems to come naturally with our MM is exactly what keeps us in this situation...and allows us to truly appreciate that they are in our lives!
Torn