My divorce hearing date...scared
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My divorce hearing date...scared
| Mon, 09-22-2003 - 1:43am |
This week I go to court to finalize my d. I haven't seen h in about 6 months. I'm really nervous about being in the courtroom with him. I almost feel as if I'm leaving all over again. The reality of the d is hitting me again. I've cried alot lately, not because I want him back, but just that I never thought that I would end up here. I'm sure many women never thought that. Anyhow, I talked to him sometimes, not in person, not often. We get along this way so well, it sucks that it's that way. But I know better, we make better friends then lovers. I've gone back so many times thinking things would change, since we seemed to get along so well talking. But once we are together again things fall apart. I just wish I had figured that out before I married the man. I feel like I've ruined the whole marriage experince for myself. I still want the whole h & w, the baby, the house, and dog. I still want it all. And I'm so scared that it will never end up that way with mm. He told me that someday we'll get m. He's told me that he wants to have a baby with me. I'm not in a huge hurry, he'll leave soon, I'm sure of that. Now whether he can stand her tears and stay away, well who knows. But I know that he intends to & that he wants to be with me. I just hope that he can stick to it. But I've prepared myself that things could go wrong and that I must expect things to go wrong, it's the only way my heart won't be smashed to pieces, I hope. Anyway, I'm just going on and on. I'm just really nervous about the hearing, how did any of you handle it?
Thanks for your thoughts,
Jdreamer96
Thanks for your thoughts,
Jdreamer96

I guess I shouldn't really be worried. It's not the battle I'm worried about. There is nothing to fight over. We sold our house months ago. We had nothing to split. We just have to show up for the final hearing. So it shouldn't take more then 5 min's, attorneygal? That's nice to know. I'm just more nervous about seeing him again. I know that he still loves me with all of his heart. He keeps sending me lyrics to songs and quotes. It makes me feel so badly, but I know I don't love him as he loves me. I don't want to see that look of heartbreak on his face in court. I'm just sad that it came to this. He thinks that this should be very easy and I should be happy, but I'm not happy, and it isn't easy. Yes after I will be relieved to have it over with, but I will be sad also. Even my mm thinks that I should be jumping for joy afterwards. Why should I be? The ending of a marriage shouldn't be something to be happy about. I mean in a way, relief, but still sad, you know what I mean. I'm more upset that it didn't work out. I'll be ok & with time so will he. Thanks for listening, Jdreamer96