My first-Can anyone help me
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My first-Can anyone help me
| Sun, 07-20-2003 - 2:26am |
I have been married for three years and been seeing a married man for the last six months. He embodies everything I used to dream about. The moment I first laid eyes on him I wanted to be with him and get to know him. I can't stop thinking about his wife and kids-I often feel terrible. Yet when I am with him, I feel so wonderful. I hate the fact I can't express my happiness with anyone-for the obvious reasons of course. How do you cope with the confusion? How do you keep perspective? How did it happen to you?

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sometimes I wonder why I don't feel guilty... I've always been told that feeling guilty means you're doing something wrong.. and I know I am but I don't and haven't felt guilty. I cope with the confusion by trying to be the positive in his life. But that doesn't always work, I've totally fallen out of love with my H and I am totally in love with my MM. MM and I have been together for 17 months and although the beginning was better then it is right now, I have a lot of regret but not guilt.. if that makes sense. My H is a great guy, but I feel like the damage i've done is too much, like we'd never recover and I don't want to keep this lie from his the rest of my life, I'd rather leave him then keep this from him forever.
my MM had his eye on me for a long long time before I even noticed him.. we started talking one day and we just clicked, it literally just happened.
This is my first EMA and my last!
=)
I haven't done anything other than some heavy flirting with my OM so far. For me it is just the most amazing fantasy. Last night he asked me to spend the night with him. I wanted to say yes so badly, but I didn't, I went home to my husband who doesn't want me.
I don't know how to deal with all this either. But I've found that coming here to post is really helpful. Its nice to know that I'm not the only woman out there who is in this kind of a situation.
I know how you feel. My H could care less about sex. I have been hit on so many times both at work and public places. Yet I go home every day feeling as though I am ugly or undesireable. My H isn't abusive, but the lack of physical, emotional contact makes me feel somewhat scarred. I too am not in love with my H or even attracted to him. I am so glad to part of this support group. I have never felt so lonely before. To be in a forum that share the same situations makes me feel better.
I hope things will change between OM and I. I can't get him out my mind either. I feel like lately (since things haven't been going so well and he's indifferent about us) theres a huge hole in my stomach. I haven't eaten much lately, but I have a little hope, yesterday I left him probably 10 messages through out the day and he got all of them, so he was thinking of me, and I left him REALLY good messages. Hoping to help him feel better about us. Today he left me 3 messages about what he's been doing this weekend and said he's been thinking a lot about us. But they weren't very personal.. soooooo????
I guess I'll know this week, what he's deciding about out fate, it sucks but I'm tring to think positively.! If you ever want to IM me I have AIM my screen name is thinkhppy6.
=)
I totally relate to your EMA. It's hard huh when your husband is such an As*. Its almost like he's the one pushing you right into you MM's arms. D is inevitable here too.
I'm sorry your so unhappy, it stinks!
Hugs
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