My first time here I could use some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
My first time here I could use some help
3
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 7:28pm
I am sleeping with a guy at work..When we are together we "feel" like soul mates. it is amazing. When we are at work we act like we don't know each other. I work in a small office and people LOVE to gossip. Anyway, I am jealous of his time with his secretary. He tells me I am crazy and not to "go there" with my feelings. He wants to know where I think these things up (being jealous etc). He is so good about hiding our relationship that it hurts my feeliings. We see each other 5 days a week but only about twice a month alone. How can I get him to "be there for me" when I am having these overwhelming feelings of jealously and abandonment at work...Really...I need help with this one....I am feeling physical sick at work over it...PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:12pm
I'm not a jealous person, so I really cant relate. I do know how it feels to need reassurance in an A. And I do often ask MM to reassure me. Which he does. Just yesterday I was telling him my plans for the weekend, which included meeting him twice and calling him a few times too. When I was done I said OMG, I sound like a stalker!!

He said if this is stalking then I like it, please don’t stop... Woo hoo... I love that man!!

Honestly A's play on emotions you know OM, maybe he is trying to make you jealous. If you have told him it makes you uncomfortable and he continues to do it. OR maybe he is trying to keep the attention off of the two of you.

Maybe you need to reassess the A, what is he expecting? What are you expecting?

I suggest you talk to him about it, and if he continues, maybe you should think of ending the A!

good luck!

dayz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:54pm
If your are at work its best to put on your professional hat and don't let it all get to your heart. Its better for both of you keep it that way, saves a lot of trouble career wise. Why would you be jealous of his secretary? I mean does he flirt with her in front of you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 8:19am
Rule number 1 is never sleep with whom you work with if you are a boss so looks like he broke the golden rule. I see it happen all the time and it is easy to explain why it happens. You spend more time often one on one with the coworkers than you do with your family.

So look at yourself and your feelings that you have now, you feel he is hitting on his secretary because of the time he spends with her. Now you have yourself feeling sick over things you feel at work.

If you love the guy then you must trust him otherwise you have nothing in common except you like sex.

You said he is very good and keeping things under wraps at work the company about you and him. Where I work at you start sleeping with the workers you will be looking for a new job if you get busted. I know 3 guys this year alone that have been busted over that so I hope for his sake he hides it well and does not get careless.