My friend dropped a bomb on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
My friend dropped a bomb on me.
1
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 11:04am
Hey peepss....whats up.

Well this last weekend was crazy. Late last week my friend told me about her horrible situation. She had an affair several years ago and carried the guilt around for a long time until she finally cracked and told h everything. This of course was shocking to him. Well they are trying to work through it...but i have been hearing from her about his pain and seeing her in her pain. Crying all the time...etc. I never knew any of this took place. She never mentioned it before.

Well...now this has really put everything into perspective for me. I started thinking how it would hurt my h and mm's w. It was all very crazy. I decided this weekend i wanted to end it. I had to get out before something bad happened for either one of us. Then sunday night (i don't talk to mm all weekend...but then m-f for sure) I decided, i can't loose him. He means so much to me. SO i decided i wasn't going to end it at all.

Well...not to long ago, mm's buddy found out his w was having an A. This guy was torn up about it. So mm had to deal with all that...well after all this with my friend, mm told me he knew exactly what i was thinking, feeling, etc. So i feel like crap now cuz that whole time i never knew he was having incredible feelings of guilt, doubt, and reluctance. I was carrying on like everything was great when really it wasn't, at least not with him. So i feel like a fool now. I wish i had known. So we got into a deep conversation that didn't go well. I don't think. He asked me what i wanted....i told him...but i don't think he believes it. I don't know.

I don't know what he is feeling....i don't even know what i am feeling.

And now...for the first time ever in my year long relationship with him...i haven't heard from him and i don't know where he is. We talk every single day...and now....he has dissapeared. I hope everything is ok with him. He isn't the type to not call and leave me in the dark....so something has happened.

Well thanks for listening.

peace to all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Tue, 12-09-2003 - 11:26am
Maybe he just needs time. Give it to him. That would be the greatest thing you could do for him. You know how confusing it is for you so you can imagine he feels the same way. Just give him space. He'll call. I know I go CRAZY when MM doesn't contact me everyday. I don't know why we take it so hard.

Good Luck