My friends funeral was last night
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| Fri, 09-05-2003 - 11:05am |
OM was there of course, he and John were best friends. We still hadn't spoken. Kept exchanging glances but I don't think either one of us knows what to say to the other right now. A little before the service started we were all sitting in rows waiting for things to start and I looked over and he had finally broken down. He was crying and sobbing and no one was comforting him. I couldn't help it, it broke my heart to see him hurting so bad. I went over to him and gave him some tissues, ran my fingers through his hair and brushed a tear from his cheek. He held my hand and just cried.
It had nothing to do with what happened between us and everything to do with just trying to help my friend through such a difficult time. I wish for nothing more right now than the power to help all of my friends through their pain. I just want them to be ok. But it hasn't even been a week and I keep telling myself and everyone else to give it time.
His girlfriend saw what was happening and walked over. She wasn't jealous, just wanted to be there for him too. She took his other hand and he drew back from both of us. She told me later that he had been doing that to her all week. She said they've been in a rocky spot for a few months and that he keeps drawing away from her when she tries to comfort him.
It was Thursday night, and Thursday night is wings. John always said he would skip his own funeral to go to wings. It was just his thing. So after the funeral was over and the dinner was finished a group of us decided we needed to go to wings. We took a picture of John with and the bartender put it up on the back bar. Said she would keep it there for good.
We were all sitting around and OM came over and started talking to me. I had my feet up on the stool across from me and he was standing next to my feet. At one point he reached out and rubbed my legs and said he'd be right back as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world.
I don't know, maybe in all this bad, at least a little good has come out of it because OM and I have found our friendship again. All the awkwardness is gone and we are just back to being what we are, good friends.

Sometimes thing happen and they bring people closer. It looks like you and Om have been brought back to your friendship and that is a good thing. No, a great thing! Just to be friends, and be there for each other is awesome in itself. I hope you and OM can go back to being friends (plus more) and that everything works. Pain is hard to get over...sometimes you never get over it, it just gets number. I hope you guys can heal together over the loss of your friend.
Jeli