My Lovers wife called me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
My Lovers wife called me!
2
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 11:32pm
I don't even know what to think in my own situation. I was seeing a married man for about 2 months and we could really would not see that much of each other because his wife would probably be suspicious of his frequent absence from home. We only have seen eachother outside of work like 2 times and we made love to each other.... well that what he called it, love making. Anyhow Thursday night he was supposed to come over so we can spend a evening together and he was going to take me out to dinner the following day. He is a very straight forward guy, If he doesn't want to do something he will let you know, so I just knew he would come over. Around 10:30pm Thursday night I called him and left a voicemail message on his cellphone and I said "don't forget to come over tonight honey and take me out tomorrow too". Then 12:00am came and he didn't show up, I called his cellphone and he didn't answer the phone. The ball breaker is right here around 12:30pm a number I have never seen called my home and I answered, Can you guess who it was? YES it was his wife! She was'nt disresectful or hostile at me or anything, All she said is "that you and my husband can spend all the time you want to after he gets his stuff from off the front lawn". All I said was " I don't know what your talking about", Then she said "well anyway from now on you can spend as much time with him as you want to" and she hung up. He never called to explain what transpried that night between he and his wife. I text messaged him asking him to call me and let me know if he was okay and got no reply. The next day I seen him at work and we said nothing to each other, he did'nt speak to me and I did'nt speak to him, we walked right passed eachother and starred into each other's eyes. Now knowing the kind of guy he is being straight forward I know he would have told me if he wanted to end it but I understand that he is going through a midlife crisis with his wife so I decided to not burden him with my questions and concerns and most of all what is going on with us. I am seeking some advice on what to do and what you think he will do with our thing we have going on if there is anything still brewing in the pot, and as far as his marriage, If she really kicked him out or what. Can you guys help me PRETTY PLEASE!!!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 8:42am
Saw your post and thought I'd reply since much of what you wrote "struck a chord" with me. I'm an MW who has been in a LD, Emotional A with a MM for nearly a year. His W "caught" us (found email) 3 times. The second and third times she called me and emailed me and said all kinds of things. She repeatedly said she was kicking him out and that they were definitely getting a D. Well guess what? They are back together again and working on their M. And this time MM and I have cut all contact - I can only assume for good. My advice to you is to stay away from him and let things settle down. He'll contact you if/when he's ready. If you are thinking he's going to leave her, don't count on it.

Good luck to you.

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:10am
Hi Christina, I agree with GB2. I think you can assume he is now in the "damage control" phase and is he's probably doing whatever he can to get through this without his life falling apart.

Unfortunately, all you can do is sit and wait. If he gets through it okay, he may come back. On the other hand, it may scare him so bad that he doesn't. Take care,

Dusty
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