My Marriage Is Coming To An End

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
My Marriage Is Coming To An End
4
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 7:22pm

I was on here about a month ago, confused about what I was doing and not knowing whether my A was the best thing at such a fragile time in my M. But, my M has dissolved and my H and I are now separated. I've been spending just about every day with my AP and we've re-established the friendship we once had... and its great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 7:54pm

"Am I making a mistake?" Are you making a mistake divorcing a person who you have no respect and who is emotionally and physically abusive? To be honest, I am very proud of you because so many of us here would love to be able to take that step but can not becaue for whatever reasons. Because he is abusive, I would suggest, you plan everything to ensure you are safe before telling him you are filling for D. You might also want to check with legal aid services or lawyer in terms of finances and everything else.


Good luck and keep us posted

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sun, 12-28-2008 - 10:41am

Hi Jenny and welcome -


I guess what I would ask you is this - do you LOVE your H anymore??

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2008
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 3:11pm

Jennylem,


I don't post very often on this board..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Mon, 12-29-2008 - 5:14pm
Yes I ended my A to go and work on my M, my STBX did not know about my AP. And I can tell you it did not work out. We had too many issues and no desire to fix them. He wanted me to be the one to change and he stay the same. I tried to make my M work out of a misguided send of guilt and obligation, not good reasons to do it. Part of me does regret it, the other does not b/c now I do not wonder if it would have worked out. i know it would not have made it. Only you can answer the question if you want to try or not. You have to ask yourself the hard questions. Are you willing to give it your all, is he? Do you really love him that much, do you want it to work? Please keep us updated on how you are. Above all take care of your self.







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