my married ex wants me back

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
my married ex wants me back
5
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 5:22am

I met my ex boyfriend about 2 years ago and he was divorced at the time. we dated for a while then he left me sighting 'am too young' for him because we have an 18year age gap. at the time i went through depression but recovered and its been almost 5 years now.


a month ago he called said he wanted tosee me. we arranged a friendly meet to catch up and i was suprised that he had had achange of heart and wanted me back.


he is married now for 9 months out of convinience and is so unhappy that he is the one with depression.


My nature is always to be there for people when they need me and this can sometimes work against me.


I am furious at how

x Cardbury x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 7:33am

Especially to walk back in MARRIED.

Welcome to MAS cardbury!

It's only been 9 months that he's been married! What do you mean he married for "convenience"? He needed someone to wash his clothes or cook for him? He needed another paycheck for the mortgage? It makes no sense.

His marriage is new enough that he should be able to walk out of it without the extreme complications of a long marriage with children. Don't let him tell you otherwise. If he comes up with all sorts of excuses, tell him to walk right back out of your life. If he is really that depressed, he can change his life for the better by getting out of his unhappy marriage. Don't feel like you have to "be there" for him. Tell him if he really wants you, then he has to leave his wife and come to you a FREE man.

I could be wrong, but to me it looks like he just wants to have you "on the side" and might very well be happy with his wife and his marriage - he might just want "more". Don't trust everything he says - it just doesn't add up.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 7:36am

hi lexie and thanks


yes 9 months married. mortgage convenience!! And he cant walk out because it would be a disaster.


i know what i want in a man and he had all these qualities back when we dated. he left me. he broke my heart. who he is now is so unattractive and i do feel sorry for him. so sorry that even if he got a divorce today i wouldnt ever commit to him.


its sad too because of how lightly marriages are being taken. its ony march and i have been to 2 already. i wish people respected values. i wish it be different!

x Cardbury x
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 8:02am

"who he is now is so unattractive and i do feel sorry for him. so sorry that even if he got a divorce today i wouldnt ever commit to him."

If you feel that away about him, then you should tell him that you don't want anymore contact with him at all. He should be expecting this from you anyway! You may not know how EASY it can be for feelings for an ex to come back! You risk getting all entangled with him again with so many more complications this time. Just tell him to leave you alone. Marrying someone to help pay the mortgage is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard LOL!

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2006
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 8:08am

thanks lexione.. he knows all these.. he has choosen to keep talking to me.. i feel next thing to go incognito... LOL (p.s. convinience is the new thing apparently.. this is the second case of it i know of)


x Cardbury x
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 2:43pm
If you believe this man M for mortgage securty, there is a cool bridge in Brooklyn that I want to sell you for $1.00. Are you seriously considering allowing this guy back into your life? If you do, you will be back on this board in a couple of months posting about how he broke your heart once again. Run away from this guy like your life depended on it. He's not depressed because he is unhappily M, he depressed because of himself. Tell him to go to a doctor to get meds or something unless you are a psychiatrist.