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|Wed, 08-08-2012 - 3:20pm|
Hi all- I posted to this board quite a while ago so don't know if anyone remembers me but I have been lurking and keeping up on everyone's stories so thought I'd give an update. First, I wanted to thank everyone on this board for their feedback. It helped me in so many valuable ways. I've been in an A for about a year and a half. Had a Dday 4 months into the A. Went to MC for 9 months. A continuted kinda off and on. Now completely living apart from H and we are filing for D. That part of my life is the best decision I ever made. The only difficulty is seeing at times how it affects DD (but H and I actually work very hard to make life good for her). But I am SO relieved to be out of my M. It was so wrong in so many ways. I made the decision to D when I was absolutely certain I could do it with our without AP. I'm really happy to be my own person again. It is a little lonely at times but I still don't desire my H's company. I'm making new friends, enjoying DD, focusing on work, developing new hobbies, etc. I feel optimistic about the future.
I'm still with AP. He is still M but has to be for very legit reasons. He continues to claim he plans to D once X happens (don't really want to go into detail as in case anyone we know snoops on these boards!). For now, I am fine with the way things are because I have no intention of dating at this point. But a year from now may be entirely different and he knows that. I have to admit, I love him with all my heart. I hope we end up together. But I've learned, especially over the last 6 months, to love and look forward to the idea of being loved and finding someone- but now worrying about who that someone is or when exactly it will happen. I hope it is him but if not, I'm excited to meet the next him! Honestly, this mindset has been a savior. I have been focusing on what I really want in life. Trying to learn from my mistakes. And keep focused on and thankful for the present. I still have lows and snags along the way. But all in all I feel I've made the correct decision on my M. Counseling the a book that recommended here on the board helped me come a long way in making this decision. Anyway just wanted to stop in officially and give my thanks. I'll still be reading and posting occasionally I'm sure.