my story

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
my story
7
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 5:38pm

Hi all!! I have been a lurker on this board for about 2 weeks. I used to post under other boards before but this is where I feel I belong now. I am so deeply involved in an EA with a coworker right now that I just can't see straight. I am single 2 DD and he is M 2 DS. We started off as friendly coworkers and I got to know him better he told me that he wasn't happy at home (you know the usual story) they fought all summer she asked for a D he stayed for the kids, etc.... Anyway, at some point it crossed the line in emails with

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
In reply to: chernsoren
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 8:22pm

I, too, am involved in an EA with a coworker, someone with whom I work very closely, too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
In reply to: chernsoren
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 8:49pm

Thanks for responding. I'm just very confused and my mind is running everywhere. I'm sorry I was just typing and I get so flustered when I even think about him!! I am single and available. He is married (unhappily) and is not leaving right at this point because he wants to stay for his kids. They had a rough summer of fighting and right now he wants the peace. He tells me EVERYTHING that I have ever wanted to hear except of course that he is free. I do think that maybe he might be free eventually, but of course there is no guarantee and I don't want to wait. I feel miserable because my ex-H cheated on me numerous times and I know what that feels like and I swore that I would never do that and here I am. I am so CRAZY about him and honestly I don't want to end it because I want him in my life. It's just those lonely nights when I wish I could talk to him and I can't because he is at home with his WIFE!!


Because he is a coworker this makes it very difficult. I'm sorry to hear that you were on again off again and how that affected you at work. I don't want that either. I can't imagine how it would be between us. I would probably be the moody one. I can already relate to the thrilling and exciting but depressing part. I am so excited to see him everyday and every night when I fall asleep alone thinking about him I get depressed. I want so much more for myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
In reply to: chernsoren
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 9:18pm

Hey there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: chernsoren
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 9:23pm

Hi and welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
In reply to: chernsoren
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 10:21pm

thank you so much for the advice. I am so torn by what I know I should do and what I know I really want to do. It will be easier to get out now. I know I'll be a wreck! I will try to gather the strength to move on with my life. You are right maybe a few nights out with my girlfriends and I'll be on my way...


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
In reply to: chernsoren
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 8:37pm
I agree...the BEST thing you can do is get out of this NOW. Before you sleep with him, which you will if you continue. My ex AP had an incredibly dysfunctional homelife and marriage. Still does, actually, yet he is still there. If THIS guy didn't leave, then you can bet the farm yours won't. Probably ever. It's been three years since my A ended, so I can look at things very clearly. I can say that I really didn't seriously think he would, to be honest, nor did I really want him to. I didn't really know what I wanted, but I did know that I loved him. But I am SO glad to not be involved in that anymore. It wasn't healthy. When you have to lie and betray in order to be together, its not good. When you take a backseat to someone else, it erodes at your self-esteem. There is no good reason to have an affair, and this is not from a place of judgement. This is from a place of experience.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2008
In reply to: chernsoren
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 9:42am