Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2012
Need Advice
10
Tue, 04-03-2012 - 9:52pm

I recently became flirty and attracted to a man I have known for 15 years and often come in contact with in public. I realized it was becoming very tricky when my mother-in-law was witness to him striking a conversation with me in his usual, grinning from ear-to-ear way (especially when he recalled something I had told him from NINE days back...very not typical for a man to remember things from that long ago, but was also not any of his business, really, which may have seemed odd to my MIL that he even knew). I think she may have picked up on something because she acted very strange afterward. Anyway, I decided I was scared about our flirting being found out, so I sent him a message on Facebook and told him to basically ignore me if he ran into me again and that I was very sorry. He didn't answer back and so far has pretty much abided by my wishes. However, since I sent that message, I have felt horrible and have wished I could take it back. I ran into him again this afternoon, and just for curiosity, stayed in my car while he walked through the parking lot to see what he would do when he saw my car. I glanced over, and he was looking my way, though still walking. He said hey to me inside the building but did not try to strike a conversation. He is obviously still interested if he is looking for me, but he is trying to respect my wishes.....those that I regret mentioning to him. How can I communicate that I feel bad for sending the message without looking like a confusing, desperate woman? Should I approach him? To send anything else via Facebook seems a little more

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 4:12pm

Are you prepared to have an affair with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2012
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 8:21pm

So far,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2011
Thu, 04-05-2012 - 5:54am
was the fight you had with H due to your MIL h￱inting him her suspicions about you & this guy? May be for sometime you have to continue your EA underground & let him know you are still very much interested ￱for taking it to next level
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 04-05-2012 - 12:10pm

Well just know that most physical affairs start with a crush and that the natural progression, should it not be interrupted by either party, will usually end up there. My advice is to weigh the cost to benefit scenario now so you can make an informed decision as to whether or not you want to continue.

And I more than understand the curiosity you and him must have by only being with one partner in life. I just let my gf of 2.5 years go so that she could satisfy that same curiosity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2012
Thu, 04-05-2012 - 7:42pm

No, the fight wasn't due to that. It was basically just about our relationship (or lack thereof, lately) and how we seem to be drifting apart. I just get tired of wondering and playing cat and mouse games by trying to run into him. But I have NO idea how to see if he's doing the same without looking like a total idiot if I'm wrong (or even if I'm right). That's where I really need the help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 3:54am
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 4:03am
Sorry...hit the wrong button on my overly sensitive touch screen mobile and didn't mean to post. But I guess I can say that my A began when I confessed a big crush that on some level I knew would be returned even though it was about the most inappropriate relationship ever. I think if you have a hunch he feels the same, he probably does. I know I wasn't just imagining things, you just kinda know sometimes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2012
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 8:00am

Ok, so let me describe a message I sent to him on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. The jist of it went, "I have been thinking about you and running into you way too much, and it's not fair for me to do that. If you see me again, just act like I am not there. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm very sorry." This has since taught me he does not want to end all communication like I asked, so it kind of became a sort of test lol! He didn't reply back, but last week, in our usual parking lot at the same, usual time, I pretended to be on my cell

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 9:23am
Just tell him, you would love to get to know him better. Let him take it from there.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2012
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 11:01pm

I feel like I'm going to hell. He broke down