need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
need advice
4
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 5:59pm
I can really use a friend to talk to right now.I posted a post about needing advice dearly and now I'm just hurting.Om told me his fiance is back from being out of town and so now we can't see each other or talk outside of work.He said she should only be here untill the end of this month.So he more less put me on hold untill then and now I'm hurting alot.I thought I could use the time to think this whole mess over and possibly feel less for him but I don't think that is going to happen.I just long to be with him so much. I hate him yet I like him alot.What do I do?Any input would be nice.I understand that he can't get away from her but yet I'm still pissed off at him.I feel less close to my h because of this mess I'm in and he asked me what was bothering me and I just said I feel I'm getting sick or something that I'm not feeling very well.Doing the family thing right now is kinda hard but I do the best I can to enjoy it because of my kids.Having an a really is not worth the s--t you have to go through so why in the heck do we do it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
In reply to: carebear627
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 6:23pm
i hear you - the s**t one has to go thru is exactly what's keeping me from getting too aggressive from starting an EMA. its like lilah said "are you ready for a ride?" it is a ride...

but i guess the only reason i wud have for being or getting into one is that we don't have control over being attracted to someone or falling in love with someone at any stage in our lives and our preferrence on how far we're willing to go to achieve the happiness of being with the person we're attracted to or in love with.

does anyone have any happy endings or success stories of how well they're balancing H and EMA or if they've been able to over time, completely break away from one or the other? i really need to hear some right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
In reply to: carebear627
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 10:27am
Hey Happy72p!Yea I just got out of an a about a couple of months before this other a I'm in now happened,and the ending of the first one was good.Me and xom remain friends and still have a good working relationship.He is my superviser and we talk and still joke around as if nothing ever happened.We don't mention anything that happened between us and it's nice.And that is another reason I totally hate myself for even getting involved in another damn a.The first one was nice yea but I was also hurt in a way when it ended but it was actually pretty easy to overcome it.But this one I feel is more serious and not so easy to break away because me and om have so much fun together and so much in common.If you never been in an a then your smart and do what ever you can to avoid getting in one.It really isn't worth it.I know I'm messing around with fire and can really get burned if I get caught,so I might learn the hard way,and if I do get caught I know I will regret it with all my heart.I really want to stop myself from this situation but can't.I have always thought once a cheat always a cheat and I really believe that now.Like I said life can really be confusing.I hear alot of a's end badly.Maybe if my first one would of ended badly then I might of thought real hard about getting into another one.At first I was really againest getting into this second one but temptation got the best of me again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
In reply to: carebear627
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 10:44am
Hi Carebear,

I'm going through the same thing right now. Your right feeling less close to dh and not wanting to be doing the family stuff is just hard. i'd rather be alone to think these days. I understand your pain, Really do try to take the time to think through just what you want....and refresh your self, best wishes you to hon, I do not know why we do this to ourselves either, wish i knew that answer...but love is a powerful emotion.

Wishing

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
In reply to: carebear627
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 3:46pm
Thanks wishing onastar!Love is a powerful thing,does some strange things to us all I think.Good Luck to you to if your going through the same thing.Yea I have been doing alot of thinking.Still haven't came up with a good solution.Hope I do soon and I hope when I do it's the right one.