Need advice-affair in the church.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Need advice-affair in the church.
1
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 6:56pm
Okay, I will start at the beginning. I am the wife of a minister. I have been having an affair with a man in my church since June of 2002. I have had feelings for this man for four years now. He is the most wonderful man in the world to me. I love him and he loves me very much. This is my second marriage. I feel I must tell you that I met my current hubby (minister) through an affair. (NOW you know why I need an expert!!)I swore I would never be in the circumstances I am in now...but here I am. It started out as a friendship that went to far. He is 17 yrs older than I am. We have had SOOO many people comment (even before the affair began) that we are so much alike. EVEN my husband has made the comment while preaching that he has never seen two people more alike (that comment was made pre-affair) I have tried SO hard to not do this. When my husband wanted to move closer to the church area I put up a huge fight because of my feelings for this man. But I lost out and here we are. I see him at church 3 times a week and then of course I see him every chance I get otherwise. Our relationship became physical in April of 2003. We spent our first (all) night together three weeks ago when he had to go out of town and I arranged to be out of town also. It was the most wonderful night ever. I do not love my husband and it makes me nauseas for him to touch me. His wife is VERY suspicious of us because she got a copy of his cell phone bill and seen that he had made several calls to me. He denied it and told her that it was due to a problem with a friend of his daughter who is also a friend of my daughter. She ain't really buying it and keeps an eye on us pretty regularly. I just need major advice on how to keep my head straight with this and some tips on how to keep from getting caught. I have really given up on giving him up cause it just don't work. He wants to marry me. How this will happen I don't know. His marriage has been over for a long time. They have filed for divorce two times and just never went back to sign the papers. He is the light of my life and I adore him. I do worry over my past(which he knows about) and what it would do to this church. I am in such a mess. Please respond anyway you can with help and advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-11-2004 - 9:52pm
Hi Trouble

I think you may be right about needing an expert to help you understand why your doing this again, if you do not understand yourself it may just keep repeating man after man.

I am not trying to be nasty, just concerned.

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