Need Advice, Badly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Need Advice, Badly.
11
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:59pm
And I just don't have an unconcerned party to give me any.

I am, suprise, suprise, considering an affair. I have know this man for 15 years. He's my best friend and my boss. I've know him through one divorce and several bad breakups. I've been married for seven years. We're not miserable but we are two very different people. I love my h, we have two children together and I don't have any plans to leave him. I just feel like something huge is missing. My h is a very unemotional, rational and somewhat repressed man. I am not. C has always been the friend I could be completely honest with and just takes me for what I am, he also has always been there for me when I am at the end of my rope. We work in a very small office and the sexual tension has become rather intense. Up until about a month ago he was dating my best female friend (I had actually set them up). I guess what it is is that I know we can't keep going on like this forever. We've come very close a couple of times. To the point where one or the other pulls back, everything cools off then it starts building again. I guess I always thought that affairs were a step on the way to something else (leaving, etc.) and now there is a whole part of me that is thinking why. Why can't I be in love with two men? Does anyone else feel this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2003
Thu, 12-18-2003 - 1:17pm
You are right, of course. Normal is a completely subjective thing. Maybe a better way of expressing it would be to say that I love having found people who seem to understand my version of weird :). Most of the people around me are of the opinion that the very idea of an EMA is offensive and morally wrong. I've tried very hard to conform to that but it just hasn't been working for me. You are also completely right about enjoying life. I think that if more of us did what made us truely happy the world would be a much better place.

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