Need Advice, thinking about ending A and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Need Advice, thinking about ending A and
32
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 9:14am

Let me began by saying; I feel very foolish and very depressed right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 10:22am

Elise,


glad you came here to MAS. There are some great people here.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 10:43am
Please be strong. You will get thru this. It seems like you will feel this way forever but thats not true at all. I think what you are looking for is someone that loves you as much as you love them you can have that you know. What's lacking in your marriage that made you turn to an A? A lot of the time we have in our own relationship what we are looking for its just not new and exciting, its dusty and dull. But you can change that if you are willing and if your spouse loves you. Do you know what you need? Is it something you can get from your spouse or is it something in you. I've had several failed relationships and later realized what i needed was in me. I lacked confidence, self-esteem and the willingness to adjust parts of me. Don't feel abandoned feel released. This is your chance to find what you need, don't just quit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 10:50am

Hs1754, thank you for the advice, I really need it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 11:07am
Starnmoon, thank you for your kind words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 12:23pm

Elise,


It sounds like you've had a lot of transition in your life in the past few years. But good for you for losing the weight. That must feel like a great accomplishment even if your husband appeared not to notice.


I'm sorry about that. My xH was not every interested in sex either. And that really can play with your emotions, as I know too well. I met my xAP at a time when I was feeling very discouraged and empty in my M. I started losing weight and just reveled in this man's attention. It was great to feel good about myself again...to feel like a woman instead of everyone's wife, mother, maid, or co-worker. I just lost myself for awhile.


I also was the more motivated one from a career standpoint. Always was and I just could not understand why my xH. was not as assertive or able to make things happen. It was frustrating.


So I do understand the attaction and the very real feelings you've developed for your AP. But it sounds like the relationship is turning the other direction--it's bringing you less happiness than it once did and you are starting to question why things aren't turning out for you like they do for others.


Yeah, I've done that too. Still do sometimes. But then I just remind myself that the grass is always greener. Other peoples' lives may look shiny and bright on the outside, but who really knows what's lurking underneath?


When I feel this way, I try to remind myself of the good things I do have to be grateful for in my life.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 12:50pm

Elise... I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 3:54pm
Sorry if I didn't reply right away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Tue, 05-12-2009 - 11:58am
I will give you an update later, I am at work now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2009
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 8:17am

If you have no Kids,

playing the fool..is never easy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Wed, 05-13-2009 - 3:00pm

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