Need Advice, thinking about ending A and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Need Advice, thinking about ending A and
32
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 9:14am

Let me began by saying; I feel very foolish and very depressed right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 8:48pm

Elise,


I've been following your posts. Just lurking, but, I do that a lot. In the back & forth conversations you have been carrying on here, I noticed one thing that may be missing.... If this other "GF" does become more emotionally involved, and your AP is still trying to keep you "on a string" (so to speak).... I would really worry about HER becoming jealous and causing a D-day for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 9:01pm

Well, sure...they might try to

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 9:33pm

And it is times like this that I listen to songs that make sense to me and the lyrics have been lurking in the back of my mind for years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 05-14-2009 - 9:39pm

Elise,

You've been given good advice.

I also want to add some points that I have learned on this board from some wonderful women... For a year I have been struggling with my emotions about my AP. FOR A YEAR... he's been playing me!

FOR A YEAR... each and every day and night I'd be up with thoughts about him running thru my mind wondering what to do? See, I think us women staying in unhealthy relationships is not because we're stupid; but because we are in love. The same reason a lot of BS stay with their cheating husband/wife, because they love them. Same reason they rather blame the OW than the cheater, because its easier to hate someone you don't know then someone you love.
It took me a year to come to that conclusion.

Secondly, to take control and 'play the game' per se is quite simple and in your capabilities. IT TOOK ME A YEAR... and it is still not quite getting thru to me that the ONLY way i can regain my control is by breaking up with him!

See, you cannot stay with this man and think you'll ever get that sense of control back. You will NOT! He knows that you accepted all this and he's going to continue to push because you won't leave.

The best thing you should do is leave him. Then you'll see if he truly wants you. Time will tell. And do not take him back easily, make him agree to your terms and prove it. Make him sweat... it will work, guarantee, only if he cares for you. If not, then his loss and better yet you can move on sooner.

And lastly, while reading your post, you seem to have the same answer by always saying, "I don't know". I think you should truly take the time to reflect on what you want and need.

Best of luck and we're here if you need us!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 1:01am

<<I don't mind doing the favor for the second aunt, but

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 10:39am

LOL! Give her scissors and a glue stick and tell her to paste their school

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Fri, 05-15-2009 - 3:08pm

As you can imagine the depression is starting to sink in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sat, 05-16-2009 - 7:51pm

Well today, Saturday, I am not going to say that I feel 100% better, I just feel a bit better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Sun, 05-17-2009 - 12:39am

Elise,


If you are seriously ready to end the A., I suggest you hop on over

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sun, 05-17-2009 - 8:57pm
I will head over there soon (EAS).