Need advice...feeling slightly thrown under the bus

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2012
Need advice...feeling slightly thrown under the bus
19
Tue, 09-11-2012 - 1:40pm
Thanks to those who responded to my post about "cows". There was one other thing he said that has left me somewhat depressed. When we meet we usually meet in private. Sometimes we will go out in public, but besides a look or two, we are strictly platonic. But he brought up to me yesterday that we need a plan if we ever got caught doing more than just talking in public (like kissing). So...I thought we'd think of one together, but instead he informs me that he thinks the best plan for both of us and our spouses is if I take full blame. That we'll say I demanded he meet me, and that I told him I think I developed feelings for him, and that I attacked him. I feel like he's throwing me under the bus. Not sure what to think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Sounds like he's willing to sell you out in a heartbeat - yikes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
wow. Was he joking? Why does he think this would be the "best plan"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009

He could beat you up senseless in some dark alley and leave you to die.

Or he could do this.

To me, it makes no difference.

What other signal can he give you that screams "get the hell away from me?"

Or, is this enough for you to see that you better end this right here right now?

"not sure what to think" is for anyone under 15.. I'd like to think you are much wiser and older and value yourself much more.

==

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Yes, he would definitely throw you under the bus. Sad, but true. Hugs to you.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010

This is really sad and disturbing. The fact that he would ask  you to do something like that shows you just how easy he'd throw you under the bus, with no regard as to what happens to you. He knows he's in an affair and what's involved if discovered. He will take no accountability or blame and it says alot about how he will do you if the situation ever comes to light. He comes across as such a coward to play victim & dump everything on you. My apologies if this may strike a cord but really question his real feelings for you.

Take this as a huge red flag. I don't think I'd be able to be with someone like this and the fact that he fixed his mouth to even ask...I would be appauled.

 

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011

wow!

the other thing to keep in mind that his wife could pressure him to call the police and file a report!  I would be too hurt to continue with him.

My AP and I have taked about this and his answer has been that we denyin public and in private with our spouses we do what we think it is necessary, which would vary on the situation.  For me right now I would deny even if there was a video and i believe he would as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2011

Slightly? You feel "slightly" thrown under the bus?

You should be feeling a full on tackle. Surely you deserve better than this. Surely you know you are worth more than this.

I'm sorry Agent....not one word of this conversation speaks well of your AP. Forget "best interest" - this man has absolutely NONE of your interests at heart.

Please really listen to what he said. And what is says about his feelings for you.

 

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2010
Ouch....I think the bus has hit you and backed over you. I do not know what I would even say after that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
How are you doing Agent? Have you spoken to him since?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2012
I wouldn't be depressed about it I would be saying goodbye, this is a sign of things to come. I can't believe he actually vebalised all this, wow!

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