Need help understanding these feelings

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Need help understanding these feelings
6
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:59am
I have the feeling this board will have me a ton of money in therapy.

Let me start by saying that I can normally "disconnect" from MM. But today, for no apparent reason, I have this panicy feeling about him and us. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop, if you know what I mean. What is this about? I can honestly say, I'm not a worrier, expect then it comes to the kids, but that's part of the territory.

I really, really hate this feeling. Has anyone experienced this? What is it?

I'm going to need an early lunch with a glass of wine.

Thanks for any help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 12:23pm
I know what your feeling. During the month when my MM is

really busy, usually 2 weeks out of a month, I do not

hear from him very often. I think he has gotten up and

forgot about me. Panic and anxiety set in bad. I cry

for hours at nite in the bathroom, H comes in and

asks what the matter, just tell him its my mid-life thing.

Then a couple days later, I will not e-mail him during those

2 weeks, I get an e-mail saying how he misses me and wants

me. Then I am ok again. It is up and down, and I will

do anything to hear those nice words.


Hang in there, and do not panic, I am sure you have a

great R. Tell me how your disconnect during the

times when you can't be with him, or hear from him

I would love some helpful hints..

Bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 3:33pm
Thanks for your positive words, Bunny. I try to disconnect from my MM by reminding myself that 1) he is a small part of life, and my life was pretty good (with the exception of my H) even without him, and 2) he isn't mine, and never will be mine. I guess I try to keep him and our A compartmentalized, like I would anyother part of my life. For me, it would be difficult if the A or my MM started to bleed into other aspects of my life. It takes work, but I think for my well being, it's the only way this A can continue.

That's what bothers me about feeling the way I do today. I question what this is all about. It really is so unlike me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 4:06pm
Hi Sweet Summer. I've been getting panicky feelings off and on for the last few weeks, I haven't heard from MM. I am trying to tell myself, he has really busy times at work, he still wants what I give him and he WILL be back. I'm really trying hard to convince myself of this. And usually I am pretty calm, after all he's always come back to me in the past even after a kind of long NC.

But still, I do get those feelings of panic, the "oh no, what if I never see him again?"

But I am trying to remember, I cannot change things. If he did change his mind forever, there is nothing I could do about that. Anyways, just wanted to say, you are not alone!!

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 4:30pm
I totally know how you are feeling. I have had that feeling a lot over the last few weeks. Normally even after a long period of nc i am ok but lately i have been getting crazy about things. He actually has been callign more than usual and it still doesn't help. I know things are ok in my head but in my heart I am concerned a lot of the time. I just try to keep busy and talk myself into perspective which helps a little. I also use the board a lot for support! I just wait until I "get my groove back".

Hang in there..it will pass!

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 6:24pm
I'm going through the same thing... AGAIN. Last time i was with mm I felt dizzy and he was very helpful.. But I haven't spoken with him since and it will be a week tomorrow! I called him the next day and left him a vm saying I know why I got dizzy, so he knew I was ok but I still can't help but feel like things are ending, or that he just doesn't care. Then I stop and tell myself to cut it out, I am not the only thing in his life, and with the confirmation of his assistant at I work I know he is overworked right now. Just need to take a chill pill and not get worked up over nothing.

And I will take my own advice,,,,, I will.... I swear!


deedee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 6:47pm
Deedee

We all need to take you advice..I know I do! Let's do it together!

Bria