Need Input/advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2009
Need Input/advice
1
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 5:18pm

Ok. Let me see if I can give you a

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 2:10pm

If you've fantasized a future together with this man, I would put that aside for now. Him going back and patching things up with his family is sending everyone mixed signals. That means his setting you up to be just the OW forever and accept things as they are. I can already see the writings on the wall wherein the reasons why he can't get away to be with you is because (blah, blah blah......) soooo many reasons "why" and you'd be left with just emptiness and hurt feelings.

Look, he has it good in both worlds. He has you on the side and he still get to keep his safe comfortable nest. People get D all the time, kids are resilient. It is hard, but it can be done. The red flag for me in your situation is this. He had the perfect opportunity to get out of an unhappy M. Why is he not taking advantage of it? Instead he comes up with this farce about going and patching things up for the kid sake. That's bs to me (it's lies, all lies, to you and everyone else). A child would rather be from a broken home than to live in one (as what Dr. Phil said).

So, if I were you, I would go NC for the time that he's back and making his M work. Try to evaluate my life and see what I can do to move my life forward to where I want it to go even if AP is not going to be a part of it. Take a good look at your M and exhaust every possible way to try and make it work.

Your AP has his own agenda on what's best for him that could leave you out in the cold. You should have your own agenda on what's best for you even if you don't end up together with your AP.

Good luck.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com


"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com