Need a little advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Need a little advice
2
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 6:50am
My MM is coming over today and I was actually thinking of having a talk with him. He has told me a few times that he loves me, he is rarely affectionate except when we are intimate or before leading to it (its hard for us to get together). The truth is the times he has said I love you has been through text message. I am not affectionate to begin with but show him I care in other ways. We have been together for 4 months and best friends for 1 year. Recently he said "I will always love you" (by text of course) after we found out I was moving to another department (we work together). I was thinking of asking him how he feels about me, since we have never said it face to face, and ask him if he does love me then why doesnt he show it? I dont know if it is a good idea, any suggestions would grestly be appreciated. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 9:42am
Bumping it up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 10:45am
I think the answer to your question is pretty obvious. Tell him you love him. If he reciprocates, good, if not, so what? You know your feelings and all you can do is share them with him. He can't take them away from you, no matter how he feels. Women tend to try to manipulate situations to come out the way we want when a lot of times a more direct approach would work better, especially when it comes to romance. But you can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. I would word it to him that you would like for him to show a little more affection when you do get together. Don't word it as an accusation because that'll put him on the defensive. Tell him you'd like it if he'd hold your hand or kiss you more or whatever you want. Then back off. If he still resists doing it, that's just the way it's going to be. Some people just aren't very touchy-feely by nature and some people are better at expressing their feelings through the written word or by phone, where you're not facing the person... Could be he feels like he's more vulnerable in person, so that's why he doesn't say it.