Need Major Help!!!
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| Sun, 08-31-2003 - 5:22pm |
Today when I got home from work, my H tells me that there's something on his mind and he needs to talk to me about.. Well he found my written journal about my ema with mm.. It tells explicit detail about everything.. But I told him that I was writing a fantasy letter to penthouse magazine.. I told him that I wrote about mm, cuz I had fantasies with him. He got mad at me for not telling him I had fantasies with him. He kinda believes me, but I know deep down he doesn't. He says he doesn't know what to believe anymore..
I couldn't believe he found it and I don't know what to do! I need major help. I can't let him know the truth. It will ruin everything.
It's gonna be hard now to leave early for work to meet him. He's not gonna trust me and I don't want it to be obvious.
well I know you probably can't help me much.. I just wanted to get this off my chest I guess to the board.
Thanks.. Jean

You have been tripped up by one of the most common
mistakes in an A. Never expect any hiding place to be
secure from a spouse. (Isn't hindsight wonderful!) Probably
the next most common is a taped or overheard phone
conversation.
I believe you played your cards about as well as you
could, given the situation. The fantasy ploy is plausable,
and has worked before. Expect your H to be suspicious
for some time though. You may need to keep writing or
he will get even more suspicious.
I think you can stand your ground on your fantasies,
I'll bet H never shared his fantasies of other women with
you, now did he? This fantasy sharing could dramatically
alter your sex life with H. You may be in for a rennisance
in your M.
There has been a lot of good information posted here
about how to avoid being caught. I would go re-read it
right now, expect close scrutiny for some time to come.
You certainly don't want to make any new mistakes, and
now is a pretty dangerous time for you. The danger will
certainly make any liasons pretty hot, if you are into that.
Expect H to check up on you at any time, be careful.
Watch out for taped phone conversations, call billings,
and notes or personal items from MM. This is a hard
game to play, especially under suspicion.
On the positive side, it sounds like you have become
an aspiring fantasy writer for Penthouse. Good luck!
It would certainly lend support to your excuse if you
got published! It is too bad you can't use the plot of
a discovered affair forcing you into becoming a writer
for Penthouse. It is a good plot, but your H will want
to edit your copy (or at least read it). Let me know
which issue will be your first, I want to read it!
I am sorry you are experiencing the downside of having
an A. There is a lot of experience here, we will help as
best we can. You will get through it, hang in there!
hugs,
G
good luck... =)
Edited 9/22/2003 1:55:57 AM ET by lexylew
I guess my story worked about writing a fantasy letter to penthouse. The subject hasn't come up again and we've been acting "normal". Havn't become intimate, but we'll see what happens with that.
My mm should be leaving our workplace pretty soon, and when he does this A will probably end, since we won't see e/o anymore, but until then we will continue this A. I had mixed feelings before, but I just can't keep away from him. We are both addicted to e/o sexually. I tried to end it 3 times, and I just can't help keep my hands and eyes off of him and he feels the same.
Thank you for all your help.. Jean
Also, I wouldnt make any sudden changes to our everyday routine. You mentioned not going to work early anymore. Because your DH is suspicious right now he will surely notice any changes in your routine and grow even more suspicious. If you leave early for work everyday I would encourage you to keep doing so...in an effort to minimize your DH's suspiciousness you should definately keep writing in your journal.
I have never been caught, knock on wood, but I believe that is because I follow all the golden rules of affairs so I dont raise any suspicions. I can't afford to give my DH a reason to question me or to check up on me...
DENY, DENY, DENY!
Liberal
MM and i both have cellphones that my BF and his W have no access to so we are free to talk to each other or leave messages all the time. we are just way more careful now.
my advice to you, jean, is to cool the EMA for awhile and devote time and attention to your H. make him feel like you really care and love him. when you feel H is more relaxed, you can continue with the EMA. good luck because it's hard to do, but worth it if you want to save your marriage.
take care,
gurl
I understand your wanting to preserve all the
emotions and every little detail of your A. I did
too. My solution was to type my thoughts into my
laptop PC and then encrypt the file with one of
the free tools on the web. I use F-secure desktop,
which does a great job of encrypting and even
erases the plain text file 3 times to make sure
it is gone. There are other tools as well.
Of course, the meer existance of encrypted
files can be a problem. I have used the fantasy
ploy here myself, and indeed, some of them are.
But then too, some of them are hardcore fact,
pun intended.
Be careful, try to minimize collateral damage.
ditr