in need of some advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
in need of some advise
3
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 1:43pm

Short catch up- Been in A for almost 2 yrs, AP is 11 years older than I- he separated in Jan, so going through divorce as of now, I am single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 5:04pm

Ding, ding, ding..... Base on this post, there are so many RED FLAGS, I don't understand how you can stand it. Why would you want to be with someone whom you can't discuss stuff with? Life is full of issues and if you're afraid to open up to a SO because of fear of causing arguments or being put down, then how are you going to make this R work? Look, we teach people how to treat us. Don't let him treat you like a mindless child. You need to start to stand up for yourself. He needs to know that it's disrespectful to you when he's constantly undermining you and putting you down.

I don't know how old you are, but it's time to put on your big girl panty and command respect.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 8:32am

I totally agree with goddess g!

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, walking on eggshells, never knowing when you might say or do the "wrong thing"???

If he treated his wife this way, she's probably stocking up on the champagne right now in anticipation of finally being rid of him! What a freedom it would be to be rid of someone like him.

In fairness to him, have you had a good talk with him about how he makes you feel? He might not know how he comes across. If you really want to give him a shot, then you have to have that conversation. If it makes him angry - you have your answer - either expect to be treated like that for the rest of your life, or end it now.

He might surprise us all and step up to the plate and treat you better if he knows how it makes you feel, and knows that he may very well lose you if he doesn't change.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 09-25-2008 - 7:30pm
Are you kidding me? From the sounds of it, you don't live with him, so either A) he's criticizing how you do things at YOUR home, or B)you're doing those things at HIS..mowing, etc. So here's how you can handle it. Tell him that you can do things however you like, it's YOUR house, or STOP doing them at his. You're not his hired help. There's no way in he!! I'd me mowing his da*n lawn. Stop being his doormat. Chances are you're either seeing his true colors or he resents you on some level because his marriage is over. I would confront his a** on how he's treating you, and if he doesn't get it and continues, I'd dump him. You don't need this controlling, inconsiderate clown. This just goes to show you that affairs are often not based in reality at all, but a fantasy.